Monday, June 22, 2015

Miraculous Transformations... Treasured Defining Moments in Mom's Life...

I was looking through my journal and saw an entry, which I believe marks the beginning of the amazing transformation taking place in mama's health right now. She is still bedridden entirely, not even in a wheel chair, and as far as we know - still dying of kidney failure. But she has bowel movements, not once or twice a week as she did for so long, but 3 times a day! It seems she must be seeing better (she was nearly blind), as she is READING (even if it is with THICK glasses! :)). She can write, too... and legibly! She thinks clearly and remembers well. :D Anxiety and panic attacks are a thing of the past (and she took anxiety medication FAITHFULLY); I could go on and on! 

Anyhow, I just thought I would post this first couple of days as a marker to remember and be thankful for. :)

May 8, 2015   Friday night – The day mama, Mindy, and I will always remember as one of the BEST days, EVER! :D Because Mindy got her mission call and mama had a clear mind and really good health. What a FABULOUS day for her!!! I texted my siblings and told them that seeing mama today was like seeing a dying flower come back to life after being given water…    I’m so happy for her!!!! :D (FYI - I will write about Mindy's mission call in another writing. This is about mom.)

Off and on today, Mama had a clear mind and really good health. What a FABULOUS day for her!!! I texted my siblings and told them that seeing mama today was like seeing a dying flower come back to life after being given water…    I’m so happy for her!!!! :D

Today I spent MOST of the day in mama’s room.

It is a little hard, thinking of it now, because I didn’t give enough attention to my children. Honestly, I feel like I barely ever see them anymore. I MUST fix this! 

However, I do NOT regret being in mama’s room TODAY. Because she was so coherent that we were actually able to visit with each other and share love with one another – and it felt SO GREAT to be her DAUGHTER and FRIEND… and not just her care taker! :D

Mama told me recently that I am so much more than a daughter. I think that is what she meant. That I don’t just do and be what is required of me or by default; rather, I also do and say things that make me a dear and beloved friend (and sister)… :D Mama and I love each other so much and it is just so AWESOME! :D

I did some decorating and organizing in mama’s room today. It was fun! :D Her movies and music are all in there, neatly in containers… I put her nice chair in there and dusted it all off. Mama and I both agree that the sentimental value and warmth her belongings bring to her room and our home make the nearly thousand dollars spent to move it SO WORTH IT! When I found the yellow blanket that she had been praying for (and telling me for the past 2 months that she REALLY needed it) I showed it to mama (after washing and drying it) – and she burst out in tears exclaiming, “My blanket! My blanket! My ‘love’ blanket! I didn’t know if I would ever see it again. But I prayed for it, so hard. Oh Cori… Heavenly Father, DOES love me!” Yeah… she was SOBBING! :D

later on, 11:35 PM

Hi again. :D …so tired, but remembered another thing to note…

Early this morning mom was “out there in left field” so to speak. She thought we were both “in volutes,” and needed to confide in someone we could trust, to tell our story to so the world could hear about it, and to the confide could bring us supplies. She also thought there were stairs in the house.

At first I didn’t know what to say. Should I play along? Hospice workers said that when a person does that it is usually best to play along, rather than flipping them out and giving details about what is REALLY happening.

So I started to just nod my head and play along without adding to it. But I realized that by playing along I WAS adding to it. As soon as I left the room a voice came to my mind saying, “bring her back to reality.” I KNEW it was the Holy Ghost. So I immediately went back in the room and said to her, OH. By the way, mama, we don’t live in an apartment, we live in my house, and it is all on one floor.”

That led to me telling her about how we ought to leave the past in the past and make today the first day of the rest of our lives (though much of what she believed to be her "past" may have actually been imagined)… and of how we should decide what and how we want our lives to be and make it so! I even sang part of the song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory stating… “If you want to view, Paradise; simply look around and view it. Anything you want to… do it. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it.”

I talked about inspiring examples of people taking advantage of the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and of one of the General Authorities speaking about this topic and using Nephi as an example of one who understood this principle and took advantage of the Grace of God to strengthen and enable him to break the bands his brothers had tied him with. 

People… the mind is a powerful tool. :D And the Atonement of Jesus Christ is even more powerful!!! How blessed we are to have the privilege of accessing that power through faith in Jesus Christ!

The results were nothing short of ASTOUNDING. Mama agreed and soon she went from seeming discouraged and even slightly crazy, to being empowered and ready to make the remainder of her life better than the past.

I’m falling asleep.

Good night!


PS. Yesterday (May 7th) was also good for much of the day. Mindy and I decided to celebrate by having a party with mom. Mindy even took off work to do it! It was fun, but I realized that we spent too much time preparing, and that what really matters ISN’T THE FOOD. It is TIME spent together reminiscing and just enjoying each other’s company.

I announced to mom that this party was in honor of her, and that we were celebrating HER LIFE, and all the good we inherited and learned from her.

And then I told specific blessings that each of us (esp. Mindy) learned and inherited (talents) from mom. IT WAS AWESOME!

I spoke of Mindy being a clothes designer, seamstress (me too), singer (I sort of got it – just need to practice and heal the voice box), and some other things (writer, poet, etc. etc. She is so talented!!!)… 

We spoke of me being a pianist (and of my desire to start playing again after all these years, since I turned 16)… 

And we spoke of our love for the Lord Jesus Christ and His gospel, and of how we learned to Love Him and serve Him by watching her. :)

I mentioned other things we inherited too, but I’m just so tired my mind didn’t remember them all! :o

Good night.

Corine :D