Twenty One Years, and Counting...

Last month, no, a month and a half ago, was my husband Miles and my 21st wedding anniversary. I began writing a stroll down memory lane/tribute which I never finished and published. It really needed to be done (as do those Blog Pages I still plan on writing about each of my kids! One kid writing down, and 3 to go!) ;) ~ So, here it is today... Better late than never!

Twenty some years ago... My (then single ) husband, Miles...:

* knew he wanted to be married... ASAP, and was determined to be married before his 27th birthday (this is a man who sets goals and then aggressively goes after them with incredible faith and determination).

* swore (along with his friends) he would NEVER date another teenager (IE, 18 or 19 yo), EVER again!

* met me at a church single young adult dance... which I attended with another guy... which secretly bothered Miles, as he really wanted to make a move on me but felt he must refrain from due to the circumstances. But oh... the three of us had fun talking in the kitchen! I of course, agreed with everything Miles said, and continually told my "date," "Yeah! Listen to Miles." (By the way... Miles says we danced once at that dance, but I don't remember. I wish I had a better memory!)

* saw me again a couple of months later at another single young adult church dance, in which I was "without" the previously mentioned "guy" (yeah, I dumped him. :o). I watched Miles look over at me, then over at "the guy" and then back at me. He then walked over to "the guy" and talked to him. After which, he immediately walked a very determined walk, directly over to me. :)  Miles openly rejoiced; and while smiling the biggest smile I had ever seen in my whole life, he spoke to me,"

I heard about you and "the guy;" that's too bad."

My response, I'm sure, was also one of sincere delight,

"I can see you're really crushed."

My expression, I am also quite sure... also accompanied a very large smile. :D

You wanna read some more? OK. Twenty some years ago... My (then single) husband, Miles...:

* didn't know my family or friends (we single dated - and he only visited me once while living with my family, as I moved out of my family's house the day after high school got out for a job in another town).

* didn't know much about me at all... except that he knew he wanted to marry me. :) So, on our first date, he said to me, "One day I'm going to marry you." I laughed out loud to cover up my true thoughts and feelings, responding with, "yeah, right!" Only in my mind I was thinking, "You really are going to marry me, aren't you?”

* fell head over heels for me (must have been some amazingly strong gravity pulling him towards me); he knew he wanted to pursue a relationship with me (I really can't imagine why... even though... {chuckle, snort} my hand writing analysis clearly states that I have a "natural charm which the opposite sex finds... 'irresistible!'" ;)

* It was after this great gravity pull took place that Miles realized... he didn't know my age. Upon finding out I was only 18, he responded, "What?! You're only 18?"    (He silently paused; I calmly and quietly responded with an innocent little, "yeah." Did I mention the fact that he was 26.5?)

He continued, "My friends and I all swore we would NEVER date another 18 year old, EVER again." (Another pause was taken before continuing... I wasn't one bit worried though; he was SO hooked! LOL :D). Miles sighed and then continued... “Oh crud." (Sigh again) "I thought you were at least 21." (Insert another pause here. I was too amused to say a word, so I just smiled and took it all in). Poor Miles continued to try to pull himself together and accept the reality of being in a situation he just could not bear to leave. "Too late... I've already dated you; oh well to never dating a teenager again!" (I've always loved his flattering honesty and determination to get through obstacles. :D)

* proposed to me on our third date (we never saw each other in between these dates, as he worked, I was in school, and we were about 150 miles apart). Fast acting... I know! But by then we had talked about what seemed to be absolutely everything. Honestly though, we really did feel as though we had known each other forever; (I know that's impossible to understand unless you've been through it). However, I did phone him a couple of days later with the news that if I couldn't bring myself to tell my parents... I must not be ready to be engaged. I just thought things were moving too quickly. :O You understand, don't you? - The shocking thing is, only two weeks later I was secretly ready and waiting for another proposal. :O! :O! :D!

* proposed to me again 4 weeks after the first proposal (8 weeks after the first date) (smart man to wait 2 whole weeks after I was sure I was ready to marry him... you have to let a girl "want" you, at least a little!). This time, he proposed to me on the Seattle Temple grounds... on one knee..., with a ring... And I said yes.

After a lengthy engagement of 2 months (which is also the length of time in which we dated before becoming engaged - giving a grand total of four months courtship from first date to wedding day), Miles took me to the Portland Oregon Temple where we were married. (Isn't it amazing what crazy things a person will do when they love someone? ;)
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As I'm sure you already know... Despite all of those long talks we had in which we thought we discussed EVERYTHING, we still didn't know each other nearly as well as we thought we did.

After 21 years of marriage, we have come to know a great deal more about each other. The crazy thing... is realizing that the things that really mattered, we actually had discovered during that short courtship we shared before we were married.

After married life together kicked in, we learned a lot of “other” things. We came to know - in addition to each others beautiful potential which we saw before we were married - each others pasts, habits, weaknesses, faults, etc. That's when things got tough. Thankfully, we learned to be OK with these "other" things. We learned to look away from them. We learned tolerance, acceptance, and unconditional love. And because of this, we learned to again see each other the way our Heavenly Father had helped us to see each other in the first place... as the amazing and wonderful people He had created us to become. That's when things got easier.

Some say that love is blind. I agree. Love is beautifully blind to faults and weaknesses, and so beautifully aware of beauty and potential. That is why love/commitment is so beautifully binding.

Like Moroni said,

“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity bur rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Early on in our marriage, I began to discover things about my husband that I didn't like. I would go to him and tell him what bothered me, and then I would ask him what I could do to be a better person for him. His response was always the same,

"There isn't anything I don't love about you."

After a few times of this I was deeply humbled, and a repentant heart emerged. I learned what real, unconditional love, is all about. I made an effort to stop telling him what bothered me, and start telling him what I love about him... I learned that love is more than a feeling; love is action... love is choosing to serve and do kind acts to bring happiness to another person; the more you think about and serve a person... the more you love them.

And so it is with great appreciation that I publicly announce today that I LOVE MY HUSBAND back.

For our 21st anniversary, Miles took my ring in to the jewelers and had the diamonds tightened etc. (expensive) so that I could wear the ring again (I have worn it very little for the past couple of years to avoid losing the diamonds).

As of August 26th 2010, we have been married for 21 years. And as long as my husband continues to love me...

...I will continue counting.