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Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Family - A Proclamation to the World - Personal Application...

For the past 9 years Miles has been self employed with a new business during a tough time economically.

It seems that every year since we haven’t had year round income I have asked myself, “Should I go get a job? Or should I finish my schooling at the U of I in Moscow (with 3 hours of driving each day)? Or should I stay home with my kids? Every year the answer is the same. And every year, despite the peaceful assurance that what I am doing is best for my family at this time - I would start thinking, and then experience the burden of guilt - for not helping out financially (I have had a terrible tendency to take on the emotional burden of responsibilities that are not mine - but am choosing not to now).

I had a friend visit me last week from out of town. Her name is Kathy and for the past few months she has been visiting me monthly while she has responsibilities in the area – which I LOVE!

This past time that she came I told my friend about how I have repeatedly wondered whether or not I should go get a job or stay home with my kids.

Then I broke down crying as I talked about the mental torment I put myself through. I couldn't stand being sad and overwhelmed, or feeling like there were two opposite choices I had to make... I can now see clearly that I set myself up for feeling like a failure with the crazy belief that I had to do both - even though I knew I couldn't.

I apologized for being “bad company” and not being cheerful. And then she started crying with me. And she told me, “Corine. This is what I LOVE about our relationship. I love that it is not superficial. I love that we can be real with each other and BE there for each other!”(What an awesome friend! :D)

Kathy then reminded me of the lord’s plan for families and of the stewardship He gives to each of us as outlined in The Family - A Proclamation to the World. She reminded me, “In some families a mother does have to work, but your family is not one of them. Providing for the family’s finances is NOT your responsibility; you don’t need to worry about it.” (Here is where I realized I didn't actually HAVE to worry about it).

Then she told me something wonderful which reminded me of a another conversation I had recently with another encouraging and comforting friend (I am so blessed with such AWESOME FRIENDS! :D)…

“Corine, one day, years from now, you will look back on the years in which you obeyed the lord, and followed the counsel given in the Proclamation to the Familyand you will see the blessings which came from it and be thankful that you listened to the lord, and not the voices of the world.

The Holy Spirit was there as she spoke; witnessing to me that what she was saying was true. Of course I cried again. But this time it was from feeling joy, as I finally made the decision to take care of the responsibilities the lord trusts me with, and have faith that my husband would take care of the responsibilities the lord trusts him with. Finally, I resolved to stop carrying on my shoulders, the weight of responsibilities that were not mine. Heavenly Father does not want me to, and neither does my husband.

I did not expect instant miracles. I made that decision fully knowing that with the economy the way it is, it is possible that we may still struggle financially. But I decided to put finances out of my mind and not allow myself to worry about something that I am not in a position to do something about. And I decided to look for the greater blessings that come from the sacrifices that I am asked to make… 

The amazing thing is that later that very evening, Miles came home and told me that he got the job he applied for. I almost couldn't believe it. It didn't seem real. I felt like I was almost holding my breath, or trying not to hold my breath – like when the nurse told me I was pregnant with twins and I wanted to believe it, but I was afraid I would get beyond excited about it and then have to find out it wasn't even true. Have you ever had that happen? Been afraid to believe something for fear that it might not be true?

But it was true... Right now, Miles has a job (a job working for someone who is a sailor and wants him to keep his sailing business going... a job which he will mostly work during the winter months while his sailing business is slow or inactive. This. Is. Amazing. and WONDERFUL!). :D Miles started training for his new job this week… and I’m still trying to FEEL the realness of it.

I don’t understand how I can have so much faith sometimes, and yet have such a hard time believing blessings even when I see them at other times. But this much I do know... Heavenly Father is REAL. He has a plan for us and our families. And though this life is not meant to be easy and is filled with struggles and uncertainties, one thing we can be certain ofHe loves us and He knows what is best for us.  Many blessings which will come as a result of the choices we make in obedience to His counsels may not be clearly seen at the time that we are making the choice to follow. But as we faithfully follow His lead (by willingly doing what He asks of us no matter what we fear the consequences may be…) rest assured, the eternal consequences (and often temporal consequences as well) will be far better than what they would have been if we had not listened and obeyed.

Have a blessed day!
Corine :D

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