This entry consists of excerpts from my journal on March 29, 1988, the day after my sweet baby sister Kalah Monet was born. At the time, her middle name was not yet settled upon (thus the discrepancy). I had just turned 17 a couple of weeks before.
“I am in the ‘mother baby’ room with mom and my new baby sister, Kalah Reaonah at the Tacoma General Hospital. I have been here since yesterday after school. I spent the night in a chair in the hallway. At 4:00 this morning a nurse told me it folds out, and another nurse showed me how; so from 4:00 – 6:30 I was able to sleep lying down.
“The baby is so beautiful. She looks like dad, dad’s mom and dad’s grandmother. She has Carolyn and Eli’s nose. She makes faces like Eli did, nurses nonstop like David did, has a round dark face like Aaron, and think dark hair like Carolyn. Her eyes look like dad’s and mine so far, but it is hard to tell this soon. They are deep, deep blue, and her skin is deep red. She has a chubby face, but when she gets a little older, and her baby face thins out, I think her face shape will look quite a bit like moms.
"I really love the baby. I am so glad we have her. At first, even when I saw her, it didn't seem real I think it is because I haven't ever had a baby sister. But after helping to take are of her and holding her, it now seems real and I love her a lot.
"She is about a month premature, but she is very strong and didn't have to go to intensive care. I am so glad!
"I am also so glad I have come to the hospital to help mom and the baby. The Holy Ghost told me to, and I'm glad I listened.
"Kalah has taught me something. As I held her I thought;
'I love this baby. This person just came from heaven with Heavenly Father. I love her.'
"Then a very strange thing happened. As if I was out of my body, for only a moment, I saw that the baby was me and I was the baby; and then she said to me;
"This all happened in just a short moment, but it seemed to happen in slow motion.
"It was so strange. I felt like another person looking at 'Corine' and thinking these things about her and loving her, then suddenly seeing that it was me, and looking at myself, seeing me, then looking back at her, seeing Kalah. "It is difficult to explain.
“This experience lifted my self esteem, and showed me who I really am."
“I am in the ‘mother baby’ room with mom and my new baby sister, Kalah Reaonah at the Tacoma General Hospital. I have been here since yesterday after school. I spent the night in a chair in the hallway. At 4:00 this morning a nurse told me it folds out, and another nurse showed me how; so from 4:00 – 6:30 I was able to sleep lying down.
“The baby is so beautiful. She looks like dad, dad’s mom and dad’s grandmother. She has Carolyn and Eli’s nose. She makes faces like Eli did, nurses nonstop like David did, has a round dark face like Aaron, and think dark hair like Carolyn. Her eyes look like dad’s and mine so far, but it is hard to tell this soon. They are deep, deep blue, and her skin is deep red. She has a chubby face, but when she gets a little older, and her baby face thins out, I think her face shape will look quite a bit like moms.
"I really love the baby. I am so glad we have her. At first, even when I saw her, it didn't seem real I think it is because I haven't ever had a baby sister. But after helping to take are of her and holding her, it now seems real and I love her a lot.
"She is about a month premature, but she is very strong and didn't have to go to intensive care. I am so glad!
"I am also so glad I have come to the hospital to help mom and the baby. The Holy Ghost told me to, and I'm glad I listened.
"Kalah has taught me something. As I held her I thought;
'I love this baby. This person just came from heaven with Heavenly Father. I love her.'
"Then a very strange thing happened. As if I was out of my body, for only a moment, I saw that the baby was me and I was the baby; and then she said to me;
'So did you. You are a child of God, and I love you too.'"I then looked at myself and saw myself as someone else, and I recognized that I was wonderful and loved to be around me, a child of God.
"This all happened in just a short moment, but it seemed to happen in slow motion.
"It was so strange. I felt like another person looking at 'Corine' and thinking these things about her and loving her, then suddenly seeing that it was me, and looking at myself, seeing me, then looking back at her, seeing Kalah. "It is difficult to explain.
“This experience lifted my self esteem, and showed me who I really am."
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What a touching story, Corine. I have kept more journals than I can count over the years and I often read them and cringe... however I will occasionally find a story such as this one that helps me remember something and think that maybe all of the other stuff was worth weeding through to find it. I guess you could say it's sort of like a treasure hunt.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gerb. I too do plenty of cringing; but you are right, it is so worth the weeding. I am only just beginning to go back and look through my journals, and I am learning SO MUCH!
ReplyDeleteBTY: You are awesome! :D Thanks for commenting! :D
Moments like this, make so many of the other moments worth living. I feel like you and Gerb already said what I would want to, so I'll instead just interject a hearty "Amen" into the mix and call it good.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it does us good to see us from the perspective of somebody else every once and awhile...
Amen Bro! :D
ReplyDeleteJust now getting a chance to read this while sitting on the girls' floor waiting for them to go to sleep -- they are SOOO high on sugar from Easter!
ReplyDeleteWhere was I? oh yes ... another beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.