A couple of months ago I had discipline on the brain. I remembered this story of my youth and just thought I might share it on this blog (though I did on another blog some time ago), but never did. It is a light hearted writing about some of the experiences I had with spankings as a child. Note: I do think there are a whole lot of better ideas out there which actually teach kids principles and skills to help them to behave, - but... this is still a funny memory, so "what the heck!" :) And for any who might wonder about spankings from time to time - there is a very enlightening link at the end. Enjoy! :)
When I was a kid, I was extremely overly sensitive (highly emotional). If anyone or anything got hurt in my presence... I would hurt, too (oh gosh :S... I'm still like that!).
Anyhow, mom and dad were really into discipline; either you would discipline yourself to behave, or you would BE DISCIPLINED.
I remember quite well, dad's belt, used for spankings (by both mom and dad), and the horrible anticipation of.... can you guess? I'll give you a line or two to think about it.....
Bingo! The anticipation of WATCHING my siblings be spanked in a fight that I participated in; the guilt and pain was UNBEARABLE!
You have a question? You thought I was going to say the anticipation of being spanked? No, that I could bear (though it did sting!) But watching them be spanked I could not bear! It was the greatest form of torture imaginable to me!
So... what I am about to tell you - is the truth - honest. And though it made me cry at the time, I have many times since, looked back and laughed my head off over it! :D
When dad was gone, and mom had to do the harsh disciplining, she would take us all to her bedroom and get one of dad's belts out of the closet. Then she would have us all line up at the bed (there were 8 of us kids all together, but probably 4 or 5 of us at this time).
Anyhow, as I was saying... mom would have us all line up and bend over in front of mom and dad's bed with our behinds in easy reach so she could go down a nice efficient spanking line. When this happened, I would remember waiting at the end of the line as I listened to the younger kids screaming out in pain; thus... my pain would start prematurely.
After this happened a couple of times, the anxiety over the anticipation was so great that I would beg mom;
Over time, something happened. Maybe mom was learning better methods of disciplining, maybe we were just getting older, I don't know what the actual "maybe" was... but things changed.
As soon as I started into my usual routine of begging her to
Mom would attempt to calm me down, and say things like,
(At least, I think/thought she said, 'first.')
I would be so worked up that I would just repeatedly plead with her;
She finally did what mothers sometimes do when weakened with begging... she gave me my way; I was spanked ahead of the others. And boy was I grateful! That meant that I could then quickly exit the room - before the others were spanked.
Oddly though, when the other children came out, they weren't crying. Mom had "talked" to them about what they had done, and decided NOT to spank them.
...then I wished I hadn't been spanked, either!
This happened a few times.
I really hope my sense of humor doesn't seem warped here... but the memory of these times when I was spanked and the other kids weren't eventually sent me into hysterical laughter. For many years afterwards I laughed my head off at the thought of what I un-necessarily, put myself through!
Now that it is all over and done, all I can do is try to learn from the past. The lessons I learned from spankings had little to do with what I did wrong in the first place. What I did learn, was that lacking faith that I could handle a situation and panicking to get out - only gave me more to have to handle. I'm sure we all learn different things in life by the way we handle things (or don't).
I have seldom made use of spankings (only used on rare occasions when mine were fairly young, but never before about the age of 3). And I was calm and careful about it (as my parents were). Even still... there are better methods of disciplining and there were times when I did spank my kids and felt strongly that I had made a mistake.
I have a brother who thought likewise (and a daughter who felt the stings of spankings years later). This brother came across some great words written on the subject of spankings by some very wise and godly men, whose opinions we both trust. He shared them with me a few months ago (long past the years of spanking our children). I wished I had read them before I had children, or at least while the kids were young and I still spanked from time to time.
If any of you still have young children and wonder about spankings as I sometimes did... I hope you will check out the following link. You may really appreciate this link!!
Good luck, and happy parenting!
Corine :D
When I was a kid, I was extremely overly sensitive (highly emotional). If anyone or anything got hurt in my presence... I would hurt, too (oh gosh :S... I'm still like that!).
Anyhow, mom and dad were really into discipline; either you would discipline yourself to behave, or you would BE DISCIPLINED.
I remember quite well, dad's belt, used for spankings (by both mom and dad), and the horrible anticipation of.... can you guess? I'll give you a line or two to think about it.....
.............................................................
..............................................................................
Bingo! The anticipation of WATCHING my siblings be spanked in a fight that I participated in; the guilt and pain was UNBEARABLE!
You have a question? You thought I was going to say the anticipation of being spanked? No, that I could bear (though it did sting!) But watching them be spanked I could not bear! It was the greatest form of torture imaginable to me!
So... what I am about to tell you - is the truth - honest. And though it made me cry at the time, I have many times since, looked back and laughed my head off over it! :D
When dad was gone, and mom had to do the harsh disciplining, she would take us all to her bedroom and get one of dad's belts out of the closet. Then she would have us all line up at the bed (there were 8 of us kids all together, but probably 4 or 5 of us at this time).
Anyhow, as I was saying... mom would have us all line up and bend over in front of mom and dad's bed with our behinds in easy reach so she could go down a nice efficient spanking line. When this happened, I would remember waiting at the end of the line as I listened to the younger kids screaming out in pain; thus... my pain would start prematurely.
After this happened a couple of times, the anxiety over the anticipation was so great that I would beg mom;
"Please mom! Just spank me first, NOW... so I can get it over with!"This pleading began from the moment I found myself escorted into the room in which the belt resided.
Over time, something happened. Maybe mom was learning better methods of disciplining, maybe we were just getting older, I don't know what the actual "maybe" was... but things changed.
As soon as I started into my usual routine of begging her to
"just spank me first and let me leave!"
Mom would attempt to calm me down, and say things like,
"Now, just a minute Cori, I want to talk to you all first."
(At least, I think/thought she said, 'first.')
I would be so worked up that I would just repeatedly plead with her;
"No mom! Please! Please just spank me now and let me leave the room!"
What's a mom to do
with a frantic child
who begs for a spanking?
She finally did what mothers sometimes do when weakened with begging... she gave me my way; I was spanked ahead of the others. And boy was I grateful! That meant that I could then quickly exit the room - before the others were spanked.
Oddly though, when the other children came out, they weren't crying. Mom had "talked" to them about what they had done, and decided NOT to spank them.
Hmmm... First I was glad I didn't have to watch the other kids be spanked;
...then I wished I hadn't been spanked, either!
This happened a few times.
I really hope my sense of humor doesn't seem warped here... but the memory of these times when I was spanked and the other kids weren't eventually sent me into hysterical laughter. For many years afterwards I laughed my head off at the thought of what I un-necessarily, put myself through!
Now that it is all over and done, all I can do is try to learn from the past. The lessons I learned from spankings had little to do with what I did wrong in the first place. What I did learn, was that lacking faith that I could handle a situation and panicking to get out - only gave me more to have to handle. I'm sure we all learn different things in life by the way we handle things (or don't).
I have seldom made use of spankings (only used on rare occasions when mine were fairly young, but never before about the age of 3). And I was calm and careful about it (as my parents were). Even still... there are better methods of disciplining and there were times when I did spank my kids and felt strongly that I had made a mistake.
I have a brother who thought likewise (and a daughter who felt the stings of spankings years later). This brother came across some great words written on the subject of spankings by some very wise and godly men, whose opinions we both trust. He shared them with me a few months ago (long past the years of spanking our children). I wished I had read them before I had children, or at least while the kids were young and I still spanked from time to time.
If any of you still have young children and wonder about spankings as I sometimes did... I hope you will check out the following link. You may really appreciate this link!!
Good luck, and happy parenting!
Corine :D
What an interesting story. I bet your mom didn't spank you kids that often after that one. I spank my kids, but very rarely. And yes, I was spanked as a child too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by the Healthy Moms!
Casica - Thanks for stopping!
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't remember when the spankings ended. But I do know that my mom was the most wonderful and caring woman in the world. I'm sure it must have been very frustrating for her to have that happen. She also always took the time to really teach us, too, and not just spank. I respect her a ton for all of her efforts and unconditional love and efforts.
Oh I was naughty! I delighted in hearing my sister get spanked........ I'd think, "Serves her right"! Boy was I naughty.
ReplyDeleteRachel - LOL! :D You crack me up! I guess you weren't the "wimp" I was!
ReplyDelete