Spanking - Jewels of Wisdom Concerning...

Hi. :) I haven't had the time to write lately, but noticed that a link to an old post I wrote back in June wasn't working, so I reposted the link so it would work in my June post "Spanking, a Comical Remembranc." It is a compilation of quotes from some very wise people about spankings. For any who are interested...

 PS I am excited to say that now that company and my own travels are over with (temporarily, that is, - until I go stay with a brother to help his wife after a c-section / baby)... I am going to be able to start blogging again! :D Yeah!

PPS I hope you enjoy the quotes... :O  ;D


Bruce R. McConkie:

Amelia McConkie recalled that her father “never resorted to physical punishment for any misbehavior on our part, but would put his hands on our shoulders and say in a very hurt tone, 'I wish my kiddies would be good' That was the most effective punishment he could give us and was far worse than any spanking could have been, simply the thought that we had hurt him." (Gibbons, 1992)


Gordon B. Hinckley:

President Hinckley said about parenting children, “They get on your nerves now and again, I know. ...We understand because we have been through it.” For most of us, his empathy is much appreciated! Many of us as children were disciplined by spanking. The Bible even advocates not “sparing the rod.” Is spanking under controlled circumstances okay? President Hinckley follows up his statement about the difficulties of parenting with this: “You will be far more successful with love as your watchword than you will be with a whip or lash or anything of the kind.” (Spanking)

“I have never accepted the principle of ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ I am persuaded that violent fathers produce violent sons. Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement” (Conference Report, 1994)


Ezra Taft Benson:

“Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured often of that” (Benson, 1982)


Brigham Young:

“It is not by the whip or the rod that we can make obedient children; but it is by faith and by prayer, and by setting a good example before them” (Young, 1865)


Joseph Fielding Smith:

Joseph Fielding Smiths love of life and those he worked with was broader than his scholarship. When President Smith was ninety-three, Elder Gordon B. Hinckley said, "I have never heard him say a mean or evil or unkind thing…. He speaks generously of those he discusses." He repeatedly said, "I love my brethren," and with regard to the wayward, he urged giving "them the benefit of the doubt; there are two sides to the story." His counsel to bishops was similar: "If you make any mistakes in judgment, make them on the side of mercy." He frequently financed missions, paid the hospital bills of the sick, and sent groceries to the needy. He always disciplined his children with love, avoiding physical punishment, preferring to look them in the eyes and say, "I wish my children would be good." "No spanking or whipping," said one daughter, "could accomplish what this kindly father did with love" (McConkie)

“Use no lash and no violence, but . . . approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. . . You can’t do it any other way. You can’t do it by unkindness; you cannot do it by driving. . . . You can’t force your boys, nor your girls into heaven. You may force them to hell, by using harsh means in the effort to make them good, when you yourselves are not as good as you should be. The man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in anger, is in the greatest fault. You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason” (Smith, 1939, pp. 316-317)
BYU SCHOOL OF EDUCATION

Part of the problem with spanking is that it works. Why would anyone in her right mind give up something that helps a child behave better?

We understand more clearly now that even though spanking often works, it works only in the short term—and the price can be steep.

Because of the long-term problems spanking can create, researchers encourage us to avoid it, even in “controlled” circumstances.

Spanking is easy, quick and may work in the short term to change behavior. There is really nothing to it including no planning, no thought and it takes no time at all.

Spanking appears to work. Your child may stop the offensive actions. You may be surprised to know that spanking does not change behavior over the long run.

Spanking denotes anger, disapproval and concern on the part of the parent. All of these emotions are obvious to the child and add a sense of rejection or an interpretation that the child himself is the problem and not the behavior.

“Spare the rod and spoil the child.”

Rod can mean loving guidance. A shepherd’s crook is used to guide sheep—not hurt them
“Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
-Psalm 23:4

A child will often feel he has “’paid for his sin’ simply by enduring a brief discomfort” (Sorenson 19). Other parenting experts back this up: “Most kids would rather receive a spanking than to have to think about their poor choice” (Cline & Fay 221).

Spanking may also have negative emotional side effects in children, “such as anger, resentment, and the desire for revenge” (Cline & Fay 222; see also Latham 195-200).

The distance spanking can create between parent and child means more difficulty the next time discipline is needed.

Researchers no longer advocate spanking (David O McKay School of Education)


Works Cited

(n.d.). Retrieved from http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html
Benson, E. T. (1982). Ensign, 60.
Conference Report. (1994). Ensign.

David O McKay School of Education. (n.d.). Retrieved from Brigham Young University: http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html

Gibbons, F. M. (1992). David O Mckay School of Education. Retrieved from http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html.

McConkie. (n.d.). Joseph F. Smith., (pp. 71-90).

Smith, J. F. (1939). Gospel Doctrine 5th ed. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.

Spanking. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html

Young, B. (1865, August 9). Deseret News Weekley, p. 3.