To the Weary on Mother's Day...

Mothers Day has just come and gone... For some it was a wonderful day - for others it was heart wrenching...

I remember going through times when I didn't like Mothers Day. My husband used to have the attitude that I wasn't his mother so he didn't need to do anything for me. It didn't occur to him to help our kids do something nice for me, either - he wasn't being insensitive, he just grew up in a house where they didn't really celebrate anything. His first birthday party took place when I threw a party for him after we were married. In addition, Mothers Day was hard for me because I was really hard on myself and beat myself up a lot. Mothers Day was a reminder of my own negative feelings of being a "failure" as a mother in certain aspects...

Many women struggle on Mothers Day for other reasons as well... because they have no mother, feel unloved by either their mother or children, or because they themselves struggle with infertility or are single and do not wear the title of mother. What a tough day it can be for so many... I don't think it should be that way. Mothers Day isn't about thinking about what isn't... 

In church (Sacrament meeting) yesterday we had a WONDERFUL talk given about what Mothers Day IS - and of how it is a day to pay respect to ALL women for their tender "motherly" hearts - regardless of whether or not they wear the title of "mother." I have a new perspective... I think from now on when Mother's Day comes - it will remind me to be thankful for the beautiful attributes that God has blessed all women with. I think I will remember to look around me and notice those who need nurturing... to extend a hand of service more frequently, not only to my own children, but also to the neighbor's children, and all other persons who I come in contact with - regardless of age...

ALL WOMEN are gifted with motherhood. Even Eve was recognized as a mother BEFORE she ever had children. So too, should all women be recognized for the compassion, kindness, love, selflessness, and every other "motherly" attribute which they possess - on Mothers Day - and every day.

Photos taken at a Relief Society Humanitarian Service Project my daughter and I attended (along with many other women who may not call themselves "mother") I took the photos after the project was finished - while the women were being spiritually fed! :)

This is a subject that visits my mind repeatedly... We are all inspired when we see success and the "ideal" situation - SO LONG AS THERE IS H.O.P.E. FOR US TO ATTAIN our own DREAM of attaining that "ideal", TOO - (coupled with GRATITUDE for what we already have ). Without both gratitude and hope it can be so easy to fall into despair and sorrow. Perspective is everything. I wonder if the hopeful and happy "childless" women who truly desire to be mothers - or the mothers who are less than what they hoped to be as mothers - are NOT discouraged - simply because of their thoughts and focus on all that they already ARE and on all that they can yet BECOME...

I seldom get discouraged anymore. I still mess up a lot. I still come no where  close to the "ideal" mother. But I'm OK. I'm still a good mom... I believe that where there is discouragement there are lies... "You haven't overcome it yet, therefore you never will." or "It hasn't happened yet, therefore it can't." It seems that whenever I was discouraged and I would finally stop listening to voices of discouragement and be TRULY HONEST with myself (which it takes being POSITIVE to do), I would discover that there was always some lie (or lies) buried beneath the truth, and that once I un-burried the lie(s) there was ALWAYS HOPE. I don't mean hope of having everything we want or right when we want it, but hope none the less - enough of it to make the situation truly OK...

I believe that where there is God, there is the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ - there is always hope - even if it is simply hope for healing or hope to endure and be happy WITHOUT some of our dreams coming true; Hope that at least in the next life, certain dreams WILL come true. Or that somehow - happiness will not be diminished due to any unfulfilled dream of some unmet ideal...

We all have dreams that don't come true or are put on hold. 

In the mean time, let us all be thankful for what we have - and be sensitive to the feelings of others and the struggles others are going through. It's important to be HONEST - to not brag or strut try to make our lives appear to be something they are not (and that means not exaggerating - or humanizing). It is important to be compassionate and comforting to others - and to ourselves...

Hugs to all - as we patiently wait upon the Lord for the righteous desires of our hearts...

Corine :)

 PS. I truly hope that those women who still wait to hold a baby of their own will come to find joy in "mothering" their sisters, friends, cousins, nieces, nephews, neighbors etc. They ARE Mothers, as much as anyone else who calls themselves "mother."

PPS. In case you are wondering... yes - I had a good mothers day. :)

UPDATE: MAY 16TH - For those who still may see this, and who try and try to figure out the never-ending work in progress of motherhood - I have a quote for you... :D

"What matters is that a mother loves her children, and in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

Elder M. Russell Ballard

A Mothers Hope - (LDS Video)

... love this! :D





"I know for certainty, her faith overcame her fear; her hope overcame her despair."

And THAT is how to live WITH JOY! :D

What helps you to overcome fear - with faith? Or despair - with hope? :)

I'd love to hear about it in the comment section! :D

Corine :D

What Helps You to Find the Bright Side of Life?

Quote by Helen Keller 

Someone asked a question;

What helps you to find the Bright Side of life?

and I answered it... 

I have gone through some rough times (not the same as yours, but rough still). 

THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES when I could not stand
certain aspects of my life. Which was hard, because there was still so much good in my life to love - if I could only keep my mind on those aspects, rather than on the ones I wanted to eliminate from my life (which, by the way, weren't always in my control to eliminate)... Times when I WANTED to CHANGE - SO MUCH OF what affected MY LIFE - and yet, there was so much that either had to stay the same or was out of my control to change, that I didn't know how to change the parts I wanted to change without changing what I couldn't change. Does this make sense?

 ~ Anyhow... I prayed HARD pleading with the lord to help me. And he answered with this one loving command, which has entirely CHANGED MY LIFE...

"Live your life AS IF IT IS ALREADY the way you want it to be."

I began to run that sentence through my mind - over and over again -  When I would find myself making a sneer over the way someone did something that appalled me I would think something like, "if my life were already the way I want it to be - he wouldn't be doing that appalling thing, so I wouldn't be disgusted. I would be smiling not tempted to make a discussed expression;" and so I would smile instead of sneering...

Truthfully, I learned in a way that words can not convey - It TRULY is NOT what happens that matters; it's what you do with what happens to you that matters... It really wasn't what "he" did that decreased my own happiness; it was my own response - my sneer - my judgment - that diminished my own happiness!

The words seems so shallow now... To understand and believe these words are true is not the same as to experience and KNOW that they are true with every fiber of your being...

Anyhow, the better I got at following this counsel, the happier my life felt and the more my life truly became what I wanted it to be.

I learned that my happiness is not dependent upon what others do to me or how others affect may my life.

My happiness is determined by what I choose to believe and do with what happens...on how I choose to respond (rather than simply "reacting" as the natural man would have me do) and by what I choose to think about and meditate upon...

Enough said for now.

Corine :D

Am I Doing Enough with My Life?

This week I love my life and feel happy and amazing! :D

Last week - I was struggling. The theme to my mental questioning seemed to be a heavy and doubtful…

Am I Doing Enough with My Life?

I wonder if everyone speculates now and then…

Feeling like we aren’t accomplishing anything... Feeling like there is no way we could possibly be doing enough – or anything important enough with our lives… Like we are living without purpose… Needing to know WHAT we are “supposed” to be doing with our lives!

When I went through this there was an overwhelming list in my mind of things I hadn’t yet accomplished – The “to-do” list was long, and it was daunting… I didn’t even know where to begin to sort it all out.

I remember being frustrated; thinking that the little everyday things of life – cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes etc. – were keeping me from… what ever it was - that I needed to be doing…

I looked around the house and all I saw was the mess. I looked at my kids and saw the things I still needed to teach them. I looked at myself and saw the goals I still hadn’t achieved.

Then two friends called. I know the lord sent them both. These angel friends helped me to redirect my thoughts so I could see my life more clearly.

First I was reminded that I am loved; the Lord loved me enough to be aware of my struggles and send friends to cheer me up.

Second, my thoughts were re-framed, and I was reminded of who I am and of what my purpose in life truly is.

As I rambled on about how I thought I was falling short, I was interrupted with the following question …

“OK Corine. Wait… You keep telling me what you still need to do, but I KNOW you’ve done a lot right already. What have you done right?”

Upon contemplating the answer to that question it hit me – I was so FUTURE-driven and FUTURE MINDED/ORIENTED, that I wasn’t thinking AT ALL about what I HAD accomplished, or about what I was CURRENTLY accomplishING – I thought ONLY about what I still needed to accomplish!

As I paused to answer, a few thoughts of a few important things I am doing right raced through my mind; suddenly I didn't feel like a complete failure, and I realized that I was OK. What was a moment ago SO BIG, was suddenly nothing…

When I got off the phone with the second friend I came out of my bedroom and looked around the house. As if by magic, the house that seemed so atrociously messy before - wasn’t so bad after all.

Suddenly, the things I still needed to teach my sons seemed small compared to what they had learned.

Suddenly all that still needed to be done looked so small – now that I had in my mind all that had already been accomplished… J

In the course of a couple phone calls, I went from feeling a life of messes and too much to do…to acknowledging and feeling a life of accomplishment and cleanliness! Nothing had changed EXTERNALLY in the course of that time - Just my beliefs – and thus my feelings…

And it wasn’t that I was sugar coating my life and pretending it was cleaner and more productive than it was to make myself feel better. It was simply and truly that I stepped back and looked at the whole of my life – the failures and the successes... What I HAVE ALREADY accomplished, as well as what I have YET to accomplish. It was because I stopped listening to the discouraging voice of half truths and lies...

In effort to continue escaping the shadow of discouragement that Satan tried to cast over my mind, I asked myself a few questions and answered them honestly…

If a seed develops and grows to produce whatever it is created from, then I likened myself to a seed and asked...

1) What was I created from?

First of all, I was created from loving parents in heaven. I am a child of God with a divine nature and destiny…When I think about it, all the purpose I ever need is found in knowing who I am and why I came here to earth. I came here to gain a body, and to develop myself and become a person of character and integrity. I also came here to prove to myself that I would always strive to do what is right… to obey the lord and serve Him even when I can not see Him and even when it is most challenging to do so. I came to earth to make and keep sacred promises with Him and by so doing become the kind of wonderful selfless, giving, charitable, patient, kind, HAPPY PERSON - He created me to be; THIS IS MY PURPOSE - I am not perfect; but in this crazy busy world - I love myself for trying…J

- Why make such an effort to obey God and be a good person? Because this is the path to eternal happiness, and God created me so that I can be happy...

In realizing this, it occurred to me that I don’t have to be doing anything that the world considers “note worthy” to be fulfilling my purpose and living a productive life. I can do this VITAL mission – IN MY OWN HOME – simply by HOW I live my life…

2) What actions AM I taking to nourish myself and to create growth in my life (this is important – we are not asking what we are NOT doing, but what we ARE doing)?

Second, I realized that I can list a whole lot of very small, yet consistent actions that I AM diligently nurturing, to create the kind of person that I desire to become and which helps me to continually create a good life. I have found that to nourish myself and create growth I must do two things. 1) Learn God’s word. This part feels nourishing. It can involve quiet “me” time – praying, studying the scriptures, going to church, or going to spiritual conferences etc. And 2) Keep His Commandments and LIVE what I learn. This part may not always feel like it is nurturing, for it requires that I selflessly nurture others. It requires that I get out of my comfort zone, and stretch myself with love and service to others. It requires that I do things that require self sacrifice and self discipline… like paying tithing and gathering my family together to pray with and teach them from the scriptures daily. I may not be perfectly consistent with any of it, but the cumulative effect is still great! Living life the way I believe my Father in Heaven desires for me to live it is a continual work in progress that I love! :D

*This next idea is important…In answering this question to myself I realized, again, that all the little every-day things (like laundry, dishes, and shuffling kids around) are the experiences which give me the greatest opportunity OF BECOMING (learning and growing) the kind of selfless, giving, charitable, patient, kind, person I'm striving to become. These every-day moments put me in the situations I need to be in to learn and grow and develop Christ-like qualities. Every day work doesn’t get in the way of our greatest goals – they are the means to accomplishing our greatest goals!!! How great it is to be reminded that as long as we are doing God’s will rather than our own - it isn’t WHAT we do but HOW we do it (living in the present with integrity) – that truly matters!

3) What am I doing right?

Third, what have I done right? No matter who you are – there are things you are doing wrong. None of us are perfect. We need to be careful not to focus on our shortcomings and get discouraged. We need to remember that no matter how much we mess up, we still do a lot right. Just as I desired to be a runner two years ago and began running – thus I became a runner – there are many small things in my life that I have done right – consistently enough to help me to become something… J

BECOMING IS A PROCESS, it takes diligence and patience before we come to see the fruits of our labors. And all the big accomplishments in life are simply the accumulation of little things…

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”

It does not matter how long it takes to get to where I’m going or how I compare to others. It only matters that I decide what God and I desire for my life, and then believe that I can accomplish it – enough to diligently nourish that desire by doing what it takes to fulfill that desire. J

There is a life behind us and a life before us. But even more than that, just as there is life in each tiny seed, there is a life WITHIN US.

And that spark within us can only come out when we let go of both pride and time and decide what to believe, based on how much truth we are willing to step back and look at.

We are not our past; we are not just tiny seeds of present potential; we - and our lives, -are everything that we have the potential of growing/becoming.

You know what sounds nice to me? Moving forward with no worry about where we are compared to anyone else or about how long it will take to get to where we want to go – Just experiencing pure and simple GRATITUDE for where we have been; all we have learned and enjoyed; where we are; all we have accomplished and overcome; all we are becoming and enjoying; and all we have yet to overcome, become, and enjoy.

In a way then, when we cultivate with faith - our tiny little seeds of daily activities - our life is a gift – for we are able to joyfully acknowledge everything we ever were, everything we are and everything we will one day become, all at once – as if there were no time –

So… this is my message of HOPE for today. That we can find purpose as we live very simply – by enduring well – and as we keep daily, the covenants and promises we make with the lord and our family. These are simple things, but that is all that is needed to fulfill our purpose that we came to Earth to fulfill. The lord will lead us along to accomplish our life missions as we live this simple purpose.

I believe these things with all my heart. And I bear my testimony of these things the name of Jesus Christ, Amen…

Corine Moore :D

AWESOME MEDIA! ~ Love Your Neighbor As Yourself - Matthew 22:39

I found this video on Facebook - Amazing and Crazy Videos - and LOVED IT! :) Totally inspiring! Very touching! It made me cry and want to go out and do some service... 

I hope you have a very happy day!
Corine :D

Pray for Strength to Walk the High Road... Gordon B. Hinckley

Hi. :) I saw a wonderful quote on Pitterlle Postings, so I added it to a photo one of my sons took on a Boys Scout - High Adventure Hike. Thanks Patty! :D

Dear Mother Seeking Help...

UPDATE: I added details to three paragraphs. These paragraphs have an asterisk (*) in front of them...

I was reading a blog post from the wonderful blog, "Diapers and Divinity" a couple hours ago. The amazing author, Stephanie, referred to a post in which she had written this...

"President Packer testified of the power of mothers' prayers. Sure that means prayers for our children, but I also think it means prayers when we need help being a parent. God will honor those prayers."

Stephanie then let us know she had received a comment from a mother on that blog which said the following... 

"Where is the help, I need it now! I have been pouring out prayers to heaven. They say we have this power as a mother to get help from heaven. Well, where is it? I need it, and have been asking for it for years."

Stephanie asked her readers to help her answer this question in the comment section. My answer was way too long for the comment section; thus I posted a link to here... :)

Dear Mother seeking help…

I don’t think there is a loving mother in the world who doesn’t plead with the lord, repeatedly, for help for her children as well as for herself as a mother. Motherhood is the greatest, most challenging, and noblest calling in the world. A wise and caring woman can not enter into this lightly…

And yet, we forget to watch our Father in Heaven and the way he parents us so perfectly. He loves us. He teaches us. He lets us make mistakes. He does not hover…

So often we stress ourselves out THINKING that it is our duty to give our children the perfect upbringing and every opportunity life makes available to anyone. If we look at our Father, though, it becomes clear that He does not think the same.

He sends children to Earth – in homes where there is little to eat, no pillows for their heads, no beds, dirt for floors etc. He sends them to parents who don’t always love them or treat them kindly. He sends them to horrible circumstances and even in deformed or sick bodies where some will suffer disabilities and pains throughout this mortal life.

Were we to do any of this, I think we might think ourselves unfit for parenthood and condemn ourselves. Why is that?

Maybe it is because HE Knows what experiences each of His children need to go through to be refined and prepared to enter into His presence - with strength, confidence and dignity – and we don’t. Maybe it is because we think that to have health, wealth, and brains is the goal – while He knows that these things are meaningless unless we first struggle without them so we can learn that we need them; only then can these things hold any value and bring any joy to life…

I have been a mother for 21 years. Being a mother has been my ultimate dream. I was born with a strong sense of right and wrong and a desire to be pure and perfect – including a perfect mother. I loved the lord with all my heart and “just knew” my children would, too. I was to have A DOZEN, upright children… ALL smart, outgoing, thoughtful, kind, friendly, and selfless in every way. All would love the lord more than anything and anyone, serve Him tirelessly, and ALWAYS strive to do HIS will rather than their own. Do you see where I’m going with this? My dreams were nothing short of PERFECTION, something not to be had in this world for good reasons…

*My dream went nothing like I planned... I had ONLY FOUR wonderful children (1/2 - 1/4th of THE 8-12 I dreamed of having), and the lord made it known - that was all He intended to send. The first child hit the EXTREMELY terrible two's at age one (not the perfect angel she is now... ;) She was SOOO cute though!). Two of my children, twins, had difficulty learning many basic things - including how to speak - and it seemed natural for them to be introverted rather than outgoing. Though I loved them dearly and was filled with love and gratitude for them, I worried from their infancy that there was something “wrong” with them. Of course, the forth child isn't quite perfect either. :o

*After many YEARS of struggles, prayers, and feeling like a failure for somehow not preventing the many small challenges these kids faced that other kids didn't … I learned that their developmental delays and social anxiety were due to Autism, and that the lord had been inspiring me to know what to do to help them all along… I learned that it wasn't my fault. I learned that I wasn't an inadequate mother. And I learned that having kids who have challenges on the Autism spectrum is not a terrible thing. 

All those worries early on were for nothing. There are a million and one developmental time-tables – all leading to amazing and happy lives. And these challenges and delays have not diminished their lives or mine in any way! 

There are many benefits to having these challenges to grow from (like the fact that they are both very persistent). I LOVE these boys exactly the way they are, and owe that to all they have experienced! (BTW,  both boys are very smart and talented despite the delayed development in certain areas, and one of these sons has become a social addict. The other isn't; but he IS becoming more social).

There have been other challenges as well. Big PERSONAL challenges (not to be listed here). I often plead with the lord for help. Why didn't I always know He was helping me? Maybe it was because life was SO CHALLENGING, and I sometimes assumed that if He were helping me life would be easier. But I know now. He WAS helping me. He helped me to keep climbing up that steep hill of life, so I could reach the summit and have the strength and satisfaction of accomplishing and overcoming. He helped me - and helps me still - to endure to the end and keep moving forward! 

The fact that you are still climbing and still praying tells me that He is doing the same for you. Had you given up and taken the easy road you would not still be praying for help with the climb. Part of you has Faith in Him. He helped you to endure and stay on the challenging path of growth. The hard road is the road that leads to victory. He knows this. That’s why he helps us to faithfully keep moving forward rather than to throw in the towel and take an easier course of action.

I wish I could say that one day God will come down and make life easy for you. Or do I?

I started running half marathons two years ago and entered a couple triathlons one year ago. I continue to train and always will. Sometimes as I run or cycle up steep hills (or when I gasped for air as I learned to breathe while swimming), I remember the challenges of life. I remember how I wondered if I could make it, only to discover that I CAN. It isn't easy. Being an athlete takes endurance and muscle! And the only way to gain the endurance and muscle of an athlete is to simply go through the motions of an athlete... 

Life is like that. Life is like being in an athletic event; and for anyone going for the gold, (or even the finish line) – it takes strength and endurance to finish well …

So again, as long as you have goals and aspirations I can’t say life will get easier. But I can tell you this… If you decide to be OK with life and motherhood being challenging – and just BE THANKFUL that you ARE climbing - you will learn to Truly Appreciate the challenge. You will also get so strong that you will actually come to enJOY the climb. You will relax more and ENJOY the scenery…You will get so strong and so good at it that you will handle challenges better in the future. You will come to remember that there IS a reason for the challenge and that you came to earth to become something by entering the marathon of life! – And remember... You didn't come all the way down here to stand on the side lines and watch life pass you by!

I like to remember that when life is hard. It’s hard because I’m WORKING for something… And that means I’m on the path to success. I didn't come here to have a perfect family handed to me who would be everything I ever dreamed of, now, and never give me any challenges. I came here to BECOME something myself. The challenges we have help us to grow, and our family members as well. Our family stretches us. And we stretch them. I don’t need to stress about what life is or isn't  I just need to live each day to the best of my ability and enjoy the journey of becoming…

PS. Anyone can become an athlete. Anyone can finish well the race of life. One step at a time… Here a little, there a little… Progressing gradually as time goes on. We ALL have it in us to succeed. We just need to BELIEVE it and keep moving forward!

Hugs from a fellow mom…

Corine :D

*PPS. My daughter just said to me the following... "I believe life is HARD. No matter what. It can be hard for one of two reasons. Either it is hard because you are moving forward or because you are not... It's the consequences of taking the easy road that are hard."

*Another UPDATE: :) ~ This quote just goes with this post too well not to add it! :)

One of my sons took this photo while on a Boy Scout on a High Adventure Hike...