Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Parenting and Perfection... Lessons Learned

Hi. I have been doing a bit of reflecting this morning. I am surprised to realize that I still occasionally judge myself based on the behaviors of my children. Not like I did years ago, when I actually believed (gasp!) that my kids would simply behave however I taught them to. At that time I took credit for their successes, and blame for their failures. Not any more. NOT AT ALL. Some time ago, I stopped taking credit for their good, and blame for their bad. I believe there is more behavior than nurture... more to it than nature... there is also free-agency, and there are also individual challenges... issues that no one knows about or understands that play a part in how people of all ages behave; thus Christ is the only one who can rightfully judge.

AND YET- a small part of me still judges myself for that which my children still lack. I realized that I must (on some level) think it part of my life mission... not only to plant seeds of teachings in their minds... but also to watch the seeds sprout and grow strong... without forcing it to happen. :O

NO. It can Not be my mission to watch these seeds take root and grow. Whether or not my children nourish the seeds I plant within them is out of my control. I do not believe in following the example of Satan to force my children to behave as he wanted to force us. That can not be the answer, and I will not do it.

And then there is the hope I have to be perfectly calm, and totally in control of my tongue; to speak and act so perfectly that I never set a wrong example. :O...

And I used to pray to accomplish this "soon, while my children still live in my home; so they can see and grow from my example!" :O I would pray to be a better PERFECT example to these wonderful people! Perhaps this is just a bit unrealistic.

Thankfully for me, despite my many imperfections, mistakes, and flaws. I have often thought of something which comforts me. I have considered the fact that other people's "imperfections, mistakes and flaws" are exactly what I have needed to be around in order for me to learn and grow and become a better person. If I lived in a world of perfect people, I would never learn patience, unconditional love, to forgive, to not judge etc. In short, I would never improve, and become a better, happier person.

This is also true of my family and of those around me; thus, my imperfections and flaws are actually blessings to my family. :D Yeah! LOL ~ Just as their imperfections and flaws are blessings to me.

So, while I continue to strive for perfection (to follow Jesus Christ's command to "be ye therefore perfect") I am learning to do so without stressing about imperfections, and without worrying about how long it will get there (sometime after I leave this world, no doubt). I do my best, and have faith that under a loving Father in Heaven's watchful care... all will unfold as it should, when it should.

These principles help me to be patient and kind with myself and with my family. Imperfections, (be they mine, my children's, my husband's, or any one else's for that matter) no longer discourage me. I am at peace. Life is good. Heavenly Father has made it so. :D

PS I finally got ice skates. :D And, I went ice skating on a nearby pond... for the first time! And, I was AWESOME! He he.... for a first timer! :O But, I am a rollerblader, so I sort of do have some experience after all. I wasn't a smooth iceskater, like I am with rollerblading. But I was OK. :D I'm anxious to go again! :D


  1. Oh, that looks fun!! I wish we had a frozen pond around here for that type of activity. The girls would love it, although I have to admit, I would probably sit and watch. Love the fact that you give yourself permission not to take on the blame. I think we can be way too hard on ourselves. Great post!

  2. I thoroughly enjoyed your post.

    I used to blame myself for my children's wrong doings. I was so hard on myself thinking that I failed God miserably when it came to raising my children. One day, God opened my eyes and showed me through scripture in my devotions that I was not to blame. I then changed my prayers for my children and saw a major change!

    Good for you ice skating and rollerblading! What great exercise too!


There is a ripple effect in all that we do; what you do touches me, what I do touches you...

THANK YOU for your comments; you add so much insight and brighten my day! :)