The Departure of a Loved One...

There have been times when I have missed friends SO MUCH, that I ached with emptiness.

I felt this when my mother in law passed on, too. She was is an amazing friend to me. I would call her when life was overwhelming; she was always there for me. And she always made me feel so wonderful... like I was great... like I was amazing! She treated me SO GOOD!  She.  really.  loved.  me! 

My mother in law was one of my closest friends. So when she left this earth... I cried nonstop. It was so hard; I missed her so much. I wanted her near me and ached at the thought of never being able to visit with, hug, or pick up the phone to call her again. What was I to do when I needed someone to talk to now that she was gone? Where and how would I ever find another friend like her?

Feelings of loss tormented me. But somehow, the loss was replaced with the realization that I had been SO blessed to know and to love and to be in her presence FOR THE AMAZING TIME THAT I HAD ~ a blessing that few in this earth were blessed to have experienced.

(...one of the last photos taken of my beautiful mother in law (and father in law) with my children before she left this earth. ...a very loving grandma :)

Suddenly, it wasn't the loss I was focused on... it was the gain,  the blessing I had been blessed with among so few others on this Earth. She was is  an amazing friend to me and all of my family. Before she passed on I would call her when life was overwhelming, and she would listen to my problems and reassure me that everything would be OK. And she always made me feel so wonderful... like I was great... like I was amazing! She treated me SO GOOD! She really loved me! She visited me in regular intervals... every April, and every October. She was the constant in my life... the one friend I always knew I could count on. And she loved doing it. She loved spending time with me. She loved spending time with all of my family.

As my heart and mind made the switch from focusing on the loss... to focusing on the gain, I realized that having her in my life for the 17 years or so that I did... was absolutely amazing! It was more than I could ever have thought to ask for... how could it not be enough?

It was a process... it wasn't instantaneous, and I still shed a few tears now and then over missing her. But it did happen. Heavenly Father blessed me to become so overwhelmed with gratitude for the time I had... that I was blessed with tremendous healing and joy in the grieving process. I stopped crying incessantly. I stopped grieving. I came to accept the change, not as a tragedy, but rather just as a change. And life was, again... good.

I think this is one of the challenges we all face in life each and every day. There are unmet expectations, failures, disappointments, struggles, challenges, moments of loneliness... emptiness, and losses. But among these all are great blessings: opportunities we never dreamed of, successes, joys, growth, and beautiful memories.

There is always so much to be thankful for if we will simply allow ourselves to focus not on what we don't have... but on what we do have; there is so much to be thankful for if we will simply allow ourselves to see and feel the blessings.

Right now... I have the opportunity to learn from my friend and mother. I have the blessing and opportunity to learn to become, to be, "the constant" in another person's life. I pray that I will succeed as well as she did.