Dear Mother Seeking Help...

UPDATE: I added details to three paragraphs. These paragraphs have an asterisk (*) in front of them...

I was reading a blog post from the wonderful blog, "Diapers and Divinity" a couple hours ago. The amazing author, Stephanie, referred to a post in which she had written this...

"President Packer testified of the power of mothers' prayers. Sure that means prayers for our children, but I also think it means prayers when we need help being a parent. God will honor those prayers."

Stephanie then let us know she had received a comment from a mother on that blog which said the following... 

"Where is the help, I need it now! I have been pouring out prayers to heaven. They say we have this power as a mother to get help from heaven. Well, where is it? I need it, and have been asking for it for years."

Stephanie asked her readers to help her answer this question in the comment section. My answer was way too long for the comment section; thus I posted a link to here... :)

Dear Mother seeking help…

I don’t think there is a loving mother in the world who doesn’t plead with the lord, repeatedly, for help for her children as well as for herself as a mother. Motherhood is the greatest, most challenging, and noblest calling in the world. A wise and caring woman can not enter into this lightly…

And yet, we forget to watch our Father in Heaven and the way he parents us so perfectly. He loves us. He teaches us. He lets us make mistakes. He does not hover…

So often we stress ourselves out THINKING that it is our duty to give our children the perfect upbringing and every opportunity life makes available to anyone. If we look at our Father, though, it becomes clear that He does not think the same.

He sends children to Earth – in homes where there is little to eat, no pillows for their heads, no beds, dirt for floors etc. He sends them to parents who don’t always love them or treat them kindly. He sends them to horrible circumstances and even in deformed or sick bodies where some will suffer disabilities and pains throughout this mortal life.

Were we to do any of this, I think we might think ourselves unfit for parenthood and condemn ourselves. Why is that?

Maybe it is because HE Knows what experiences each of His children need to go through to be refined and prepared to enter into His presence - with strength, confidence and dignity – and we don’t. Maybe it is because we think that to have health, wealth, and brains is the goal – while He knows that these things are meaningless unless we first struggle without them so we can learn that we need them; only then can these things hold any value and bring any joy to life…

I have been a mother for 21 years. Being a mother has been my ultimate dream. I was born with a strong sense of right and wrong and a desire to be pure and perfect – including a perfect mother. I loved the lord with all my heart and “just knew” my children would, too. I was to have A DOZEN, upright children… ALL smart, outgoing, thoughtful, kind, friendly, and selfless in every way. All would love the lord more than anything and anyone, serve Him tirelessly, and ALWAYS strive to do HIS will rather than their own. Do you see where I’m going with this? My dreams were nothing short of PERFECTION, something not to be had in this world for good reasons…

*My dream went nothing like I planned... I had ONLY FOUR wonderful children (1/2 - 1/4th of THE 8-12 I dreamed of having), and the lord made it known - that was all He intended to send. The first child hit the EXTREMELY terrible two's at age one (not the perfect angel she is now... ;) She was SOOO cute though!). Two of my children, twins, had difficulty learning many basic things - including how to speak - and it seemed natural for them to be introverted rather than outgoing. Though I loved them dearly and was filled with love and gratitude for them, I worried from their infancy that there was something “wrong” with them. Of course, the forth child isn't quite perfect either. :o (Is any child perfect? - Truthfully, each of these children ARE PERFECT!)

*After many YEARS of struggles, prayers, and feeling like a failure for somehow not preventing the many small challenges these kids faced that other kids didn't … I learned that the lord had been inspiring me to know what to do to help them all along… I learned that it wasn't my fault. I learned that I wasn't an inadequate mother. And I learned that having kids who have challenges is not a terrible thing. 

All those worries early on were for nothing. There are a million and one developmental time-tables – all leading to amazing and happy lives. And challenges and delays have not diminished their lives or mine in any way! 

There are many benefits to having challenges to grow from (persistence comes with a price). I LOVE these my kids exactly the way they are, and owe that to all they have experienced! (BTW,  my kids are very smart and talented despite the delayed development in certain areas)...

There have been other challenges as well. Big PERSONAL challenges (not to be listed here). I often plead with the lord for help. Why didn't I always know He was helping me? Maybe it was because life was SO CHALLENGING, and I sometimes assumed that if He were helping me life would be easier. But I know now. He WAS helping me. He helped me to keep climbing up that steep hill of life, so I could reach the summit and have the strength and satisfaction of accomplishing and overcoming. He helped me - and helps me still - to endure to the end and keep moving forward! 

The fact that you are still climbing and still praying tells me that He is doing the same for you. Had you given up and taken the easy road you would not still be praying for help with the climb. Part of you has Faith in Him. He helped you to endure and stay on the challenging path of growth. The hard road is the road that leads to victory. He knows this. That’s why he helps us to faithfully keep moving forward rather than to throw in the towel and take an easier course of action.

I wish I could say that one day God will come down and make life easy for you. Or do I?

I started running half marathons two years ago and entered a couple triathlons one year ago. I continue to train and always will. Sometimes as I run or cycle up steep hills (or when I gasped for air as I learned to breathe while swimming), I remember the challenges of life. I remember how I wondered if I could make it, only to discover that I CAN. It isn't easy. Being an athlete takes endurance and muscle! And the only way to gain the endurance and muscle of an athlete is to simply go through the motions of an athlete... 

Life is like that. Life is like being in an athletic event; and for anyone going for the gold, (or even the finish line) – it takes strength and endurance to finish well …

So again, as long as you have goals and aspirations I can’t say life will get easier. But I can tell you this… If you decide to be OK with life and motherhood being challenging – and just BE THANKFUL that you ARE climbing - you will learn to Truly Appreciate the challenge. You will also get so strong that you will actually come to enJOY the climb. You will relax more and ENJOY the scenery…You will get so strong and so good at it that you will handle challenges better in the future. You will come to remember that there IS a reason for the challenge and that you came to earth to become something by entering the marathon of life! – And remember... You didn't come all the way down here to stand on the side lines and watch life pass you by!

I like to remember that when life is hard. It’s hard because I’m WORKING for something… And that means I’m on the path to success. I didn't come here to have a perfect family handed to me who would be everything I ever dreamed of, now, and never give me any challenges. I came here to BECOME something myself. The challenges we have help us to grow, and our family members as well. Our family stretches us. And we stretch them. I don’t need to stress about what life is or isn't  I just need to live each day to the best of my ability and enjoy the journey of becoming…

PS. Anyone can become an athlete. Anyone can finish well the race of life. One step at a time… Here a little, there a little… Progressing gradually as time goes on. We ALL have it in us to succeed. We just need to BELIEVE it and keep moving forward!

Hugs from a fellow mom…

Corine :D

*PPS. My daughter just said to me the following... "I believe life is HARD. No matter what. It can be hard for one of two reasons. Either it is hard because you are moving forward or because you are not... It's the consequences of taking the easy road that make that road hard."

*Another UPDATE: :) ~ This quote just goes with this post too well not to add it! :)

One of my sons took this photo while on a Boy Scout on a High Adventure Hike...