Monday, July 12, 2010

The Departure of a Loved One...

There have been times when I have missed friends SO MUCH, that I ached with emptiness.

I felt this when my mother in law passed on, too. She was is an amazing friend to me. I would call her when life was overwhelming; she was always there for me. And she always made me feel so wonderful... like I was great... like I was amazing! She treated me SO GOOD!  She.  really.  loved.  me! 

My mother in law was one of my closest friends. So when she left this earth... I cried nonstop. It was so hard; I missed her so much. I wanted her near me and ached at the thought of never being able to visit with, hug, or pick up the phone to call her again. What was I to do when I needed someone to talk to now that she was gone? Where and how would I ever find another friend like her?

Feelings of loss tormented me. But somehow, the loss was replaced with the realization that I had been SO blessed to know and to love and to be in her presence FOR THE AMAZING TIME THAT I HAD ~ a blessing that few in this earth were blessed to have experienced.

( of the last photos taken of my beautiful mother in law (and father in law) with my children before she left this earth. ...a very loving grandma :)

Suddenly, it wasn't the loss I was focused on... it was the gain,  the blessing I had been blessed with among so few others on this Earth. She was is  an amazing friend to me and all of my family. Before she passed on I would call her when life was overwhelming, and she would listen to my problems and reassure me that everything would be OK. And she always made me feel so wonderful... like I was great... like I was amazing! She treated me SO GOOD! She really loved me! She visited me in regular intervals... every April, and every October. She was the constant in my life... the one friend I always knew I could count on. And she loved doing it. She loved spending time with me. She loved spending time with all of my family.

As my heart and mind made the switch from focusing on the loss... to focusing on the gain, I realized that having her in my life for the 17 years or so that I did... was absolutely amazing! It was more than I could ever have thought to ask for... how could it not be enough?

It was a process... it wasn't instantaneous, and I still shed a few tears now and then over missing her. But it did happen. Heavenly Father blessed me to become so overwhelmed with gratitude for the time I had... that I was blessed with tremendous healing and joy in the grieving process. I stopped crying incessantly. I stopped grieving. I came to accept the change, not as a tragedy, but rather just as a change. And life was, again... good.

I think this is one of the challenges we all face in life each and every day. There are unmet expectations, failures, disappointments, struggles, challenges, moments of loneliness... emptiness, and losses. But among these all are great blessings: opportunities we never dreamed of, successes, joys, growth, and beautiful memories.

There is always so much to be thankful for if we will simply allow ourselves to focus not on what we don't have... but on what we do have; there is so much to be thankful for if we will simply allow ourselves to see and feel the blessings.

Right now... I have the opportunity to learn from my friend and mother. I have the blessing and opportunity to learn to become, to be, "the constant" in another person's life. I pray that I will succeed as well as she did.


  1. As usual you've written another post that is so honest and the message just beautiful.

    I do believe you will succeed as you seem to already be there!

  2. Rachel ~ Thank you SO MUCH for the compliments. You are such a sweet gal! I really do wonder though what makes you think I am "already there?" :O I just don't see it; but thank you!! :)

  3. Corine, we are our worst critics! We are so hard on ourselves. :D Obviously I do not know you personally but from getting to know you in your blog you are so genuine. You are always putting others first, seeing the good and the positive. You're trying to be really truly good and it shows! You're a great example.

    Ease up on yourself. ;)

  4. Rachel - sniffle... sniffle... Thanks. :D

  5. Aw, Corine. What a lovely post. Your MIL is up in heaven and just loving this beautiful tribute to her and the power of the continuity of faithful family and friends in our lives.

    My own MIL is such a wonderful woman--an example of what a Christian mother and wife should be, and what I should ascribe to in daily living. I appreciate this post as a reminder to do just that.

    :) Well done.

  6. Beautiful, Corine. Sorry for your loss - but so happy for the wonderful memories you will be able to hold on to forever!

  7. Lori - I'm so glad to hear that you are close to your MIL, too. We are blessed women. And thank you also for the compliment; I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :)

  8. Gerb - You're back! It's so cool to hear from you again after so long! :D

    Thank you. :)

  9. Hi Rachel from the newest Circle Journal member! I can't comment on this one...too choked up

  10. Hi Rachel/denyse dar - Welcome! :D I'm so excited about the Circle Journal; we are going to have a BLAST! What is your theme? Thanks for stopping by. :)

  11. Corine, as usual, you brought both a tear to my cheek and a smile to my lips :)

  12. Kelly - Thanks! :D I'm so glad you enjoy it here. That makes me happy. :D

  13. Beautiful beautiful post! I had the same realization a year after my brother died. I was so sad and the one day my oldest sister said something that made me just feel grateful for the time I had with him. I love this post!!

  14. Holly - Hi, and thanks! I'm glad you "love this post!!" Way to make a blogger's day, Holly! :D

    I'm so sorry about your loss, and so happy that you had that same healing experience. Grattitude really is an incredibly powerful healer. :)

  15. An absolutely beautiful tribute! Thank you so much for sharing with me!

  16. Amy - You are so welcome! :D And thank you! :)


There is a ripple effect in all that we do; what you do touches me, what I do touches you...

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