Sunday, March 29, 2015

Caring for Mama...

March 27, 2015           Friday morning (A letter to my siblings about our sweet mother)

Hi! :D Would you believe I just woke up?! (8:00 AM) To be fair though, mama and I didn't stop talking until 1:30 AM. :D It was a SWEET, NICE talk. Filled with love and laughter, hopes and dreams…  We even watched The Secret Garden and did foot massage! :D

Mama talked of having purpose and meaning in life (most of which involves the people she loves)... She was very depressed before she came here, and she was more depressed than I realized when she first got here as well. Feeling down... laying in bed 24/7 and feeling like she couldn't do anything with her life and even like she had no purpose... Wondering what the rest of the world looked like. Wondering what the rest of the home she lived in looked like outside her bedroom. Wondering what HER OWN ROOM looked like, beyond what she could see from her limited perspective in bed... Wondering what she would ever do again in this life...

All these things weighed upon her mind, making it difficult for her to want to talk to people on the phone. She DOES appreciate your calls though... reaching out to her and loving her, even though she doesn't take the call or mostly listens and hasn't the energy to stay on long. Thank you for loving her!!!

The mental struggles she has been faced with caused her to feel like she had nothing to live for and sometimes she felt that she couldn't stand living that way any longer (stuck in bed all the time).

But last night Mama told me that she is learning SO MUCH. Her perspective is changing. She has begun to realize how much of a positive impact she is having on our family. She is a blessing to my family and I in so many ways, and Miles and I and the Lord have all begun to point these things out to her. She has become like a child again in many ways, and needed this comfort and perspective to give meaning to her life. She is also finding joy in tiny little conversations she has had with her grandchildren, and in building them up. She is enjoying her granddaughter... who loves her so much. And she appreciates her son in law, who is constantly mentioning what a blessing she is to him, and how she helps him to not be so focused on himself. It seems she is finding purpose in life again. :)

And she talked about you... Mama wants you, her children, to KNOW that she loves you and thinks about you and prays for you every day. The more settled she gets here the more it feels like home and the brighter she feels; I think phone calls will be coming soon.

I don't know how it is that the days go by so quickly... I do the same things day in and day out, and find it difficult to find time to do the more occasional, and yet important and fun things - like finding pictures to hang on her walls, and brainstorming things mama can do, look at, and enjoy (now that I am finally almost done getting all the paperwork of moving her and her medical insurance etc. to her new home and state!) Please, pray for me to find time and creative energy to do this!!!

We talked of a few ideas of things to do from her little bed to give her something to enjoy and look forward to… foot massages while watching one of our favorite shows together (I mentioned Once Upon a Time, as it is one of my favorites, and I’m hoping she will fall in love with it, too); visiting with my sweet sons;:D GENEALOGY!!! :D (I am SO excited to help her do genealogy, once we find a computer for her bedroom! Anyone have an old computer they don't need that can get internet?).

There were other things too… I should have jotted them down. I also hope to start reading to her. Levi read history to her one day, and I'm hoping it becomes somewhat of a tradition. I think she would like that. :D She listens to the Book of Mormon on CD now. We are anxious to get other scriptures for her to listen to as well (Bible etc., as well as General Conference – which we will have once we get a computer in there, or once Ben brings her stuff to her from storage!)

Despite the lack of energy and oxygen, mom DOES count her blessings and find joy in living! :) She is so happy to be getting to know these grand kids better. She also loves Miles and says he is her hero (because he is so good to her). :D Mama is SO HAPPY TO BE HERE, and doing better emotionally each day. She repeatedly tells me how spoiled she feels. I always wish I could do more. There is so much to do. I just want to have more time - just to spend with her to socialize and make her happy, rather than doing necessary things so much of the time. But she doesn't look at it like that and is so appreciative and mindful of my time and needs. I appreciate her gratitude so much!

Time to get going; talk to you later! :D

PS. Nathan started helping me set up a routine reminder of some of mama’s needs on Excel spreadsheet (which I still need to sit down and finish); Carolyn sent oils to mama (it sure helps her relax and makes the room smell great!). And I think Aaron is sending a massage device (I’m hoping Miles and I will find time to use it on each other as well as on mom! :D)

I’m so thankful for such sweet, kind, siblings who do such nice things for our mama! :D THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT YOU DO! I'm SO THANKFUL to be a part of such a supportive and kind family!!! :)

I love you all!
Corine :D

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