Saturday, April 18, 2015

Letter to Family About Mom

April 18, 2015

Hi Everyone…

:D How are you?

I hope you are all well and really miss you!!!! We are SO in need of a family reunion!! Please, save money to travel! I pray that we can all unite again together again soon. When we do, we can talk about our lives and catch up, so to speak, with one another. It will be grand! :D

Now, about mom… I have needed to write a letter to let you all know how mom is doing. Here I am! :D

It has come to my attention that some of you don’t really know of mom’s state. I’ll be honest, I didn’t have a clue until after she was living with me. We all have hopes for mom, and I am not here to dash them to pieces. But I feel it is important that you realize her condition so your expectations can be realistic, particularly when you talk to her on the phone. I just realized that lack of energy to speak is more than lack of oxygen. Part of the reason she has so little energy when talking on the phone may also be due to stress of not knowing what to say about how she is doing. What does one say when she is asked if she is yet able to do certain tasks, which she may be so far from able to do, and may even have lost hope of experiencing again in this life? I think I should let you know of her current state…

If she can’t do something one thinks she should be doing, one may think that means she is doing poorly. Depending upon how one looks at it, she could be doing poorly or well. She IS approaching dying. She DOES have various diseases, and is completely bedridden. Compared to how she was a few months ago her health is not doing well. HOWEVER... When I hear nurses and aid’s talk to each other about mom, it is evident that she is improving greatly. So I may tell you she is doing well. But I realize phrases like, “she is doing well” can be deceiving and mean something entirely different to different people. What does doing well even mean? Are we comparing to ideal health? Or asking about how one is coping with one's situation?

When mom got here, she was totally and completely bedridden, as she is still. Her legs were so beyond functioning that they were stiff like boards. She could not bend or move them at all, and it was extremely challenging even for another person to move her legs. They didn’t bend much, and if they did it was very little with a great deal of discomfort and pain for mom. Cleaning her well seemed an impossible task. When asked to lift or move her legs, she could not move them more than 1/8th of an inch. She can move her feet quite well though, bending at the ankles. I have worked with her legs to make them flexible, so that I can pick them up and bend them, usually without too much discomfort for her (except when I don’t’ have time to exercise/stretch them consistently, in which case they get a little stiff again).

So, as far as walking goes, that isn’t something she or I are even thinking about. Right now, we are watching her legs heal from huge water blisters. I just hope will become well and strong enough to handle being in a wheel chair again. The good news is that the blisters on her thighs are healing extremely well. Her lower legs are still covered with sores (as they were before she came) but are not weepy like they were before. They seem to get better then worse off and on. Then there is her back. Soon I will have some help, so I plan to add physical therapy to the mix to help strengthen her legs and back etc. in hopes that she can get into a wheel chair regularly.

Breathing… This is a biggie. Upon mom’s arrival, I quickly learned why she stopped calling me or taking my calls when she lived in Utah. She was either zonked out from drugs, or couldn’t breathe well enough to speak. Both of these are much improved, but not eliminated entirely, and may not be in this life (she has depended upon oxygen to breathe 24/7 for almost a year now). She is much more alert now and has recently (in the past week) stopped having so many anxiety attacks over not breathing well.

Diabetes, Brain, and Diet - Mom’s diet and nutrition are continually improving. I am impressed with her growing strength and resolve to eat right and am truly excited about her progress this way!!! She really is striving to eat in a way that helps her body to heal and is doing a great job with it! Her blood sugar is the area that was most noticeable the quickest. It is continually coming down, and doing AMAZING. Nutrition also improves as various supplements are reintroduced… and they are doing wonders for her. I believe her sudden improvement in both breathing, and mental clarity, are both results of improved nutrition. Also, her bowels are working MUCH better than they were before. :D This too, is probably a factor in her improved breathing.

So… does she dance the jig? Of course not. Most likely, she won’t do that again in this life. But I feel content that she will soon feel more comfortable and enjoy better health than she has in a long time. And she feels loved. :) I won’t limit my mind as to how far she may improve, but will take care of her and let the Lord decide how much she heals… being thankful for every small improvement, with no huge expectations to stress over whether or not they will take place or not. I feel really good about this. And I think it would be really comforting to mom if you all did the same so she doesn't stress about not meeting your hopes and desires for her. Acceptance is kind of important right now...

Rest assured, though, despite her challenges, mom is in a very good place, mentally and physically. She is improving. :)

Mom wants you all to know that she loves each and every one of you. She misses you, and thinks of you always. She regularly talks about wanting to call you and talk to you. Often though, she thinks of it when she is falling asleep and rarely feels she has enough energy or oxygen with which to talk. I think though, as her breathing continues to improve (I believe it will) she will be able to call you and stay on the phone with you longer and more frequently.

Thanks so much for your love and prayers!!!

I love you all! :D

Corine :D

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