For the past week or more, I have been incredibly stressed out,overwhelmed, and often quite sad. I have even cried (I can't tell you how many times).
So I decided to simplify. The amazing thing, is that I'm not just simplifying
just my schedule.
I'm simplifying ME.
And my expectations.
I don't like being overwhelmed. Lately, I have been too overwhelmed to even write.
Until today, when I would get overwhelmed, I would sometimes freeze... my body and mind would become physically and psychologically immobilized... as if a life can be shot with Novocain from the the skillful hand of a dentist.
And instead of working faster to catch up (so I could have less to be overwhelmed about), I would slow down to almost a stop. And then things got worse - way worse - as the vicious cycle continued...
I didn't mean to.
I sure didn't WANT to.
But I did it...
Today I decided to let the world, and all the world's expectations stand still instead of me.
Today, I decided that I don't have to do and be EVERYTHING, right now..
Today I decided to take a little time to do what I WANT to do, instead of what I feel I HAVE to do.
It may sound selfish, and it may sound crazy... but I don't think it was either.
I think it was inspired by a loving Father in Heaven who truly DESIRES for me to be happy. :)
Happiness in a community, is only as happy as the individuals in a community. And I am the individual that I have the greatest power to influence for better or for worse.
So I ditched a couple of responsibilities that I have to the community and the world for just one day, and did what I needed to do to have peace at home.
It was hard to do.
I hoped I wasn't being a slacker.
I told my Father in Heaven that I have been really overwhelmed, and needed time to catch up on some things at home (after my 12 mile de-stress run). I prayed to know if it was OK.
I felt that it was.
And now, I have canned peaches on my counter top (to add to the other foods which I have recently preserved - yeah!), and a mess in my bedroom to verify that clean, organized, and simplified...
are again on their way into my life... :)
I would like to tell you how I know this transformation of simplifying is actually beginning to happen...
I have papers (many papers, PILES of papers which have been collected over the past couple of YEARS). In addition to old bills, there were papers with goals written on them, and huge lists of expectations for myself as a princess, and daughter of my Father in Heaven.
The lists were heartfelt, and yet...
Today they were somehow quite easily thrown in the burning pile.
The lists were too long, and too complex...
There were too many of them.
And when I threw those papers out, I did something I have never done before...
I DIDN'T CARE. I didn't mind not having all those goals to look through, because, finally, I didn't want to look at that many of them!
That is when I realized, this wasn't just a simplifying of my surroundings by eliminating papers messes...
I was choosing to simplify my thoughts and my life.
Princesses... daughters of kings, daughters of God... deserve simple lives! ;)
And this means simplifying everything, even goals. No, I'm definitely not tossing goals out the window... I love
Of course, I kept the photos and letters from friends; these bring me joy. I smiled warmly as I glanced at a couple of them that I came upon while cleaning. But the over analytical notes I wrote to myself - I tossed in the burn pile, without so much as a crooked grin.
I feel at peace. :)
I am home. :D
And I have a feeling,
...I'm REALLY going to enjoy my new simplified life! :D