I have many thoughts and feelings going on in my heart and mind right now. I have been reading my scriptures for some time this morning, in which I read and reread the same message over and over again, gaining insight and understanding which I never had before on this subject, through cross referencing various scriptures (they really add insight and help to explain each other!). I finally understand what the Lord has been telling me. I feel deeply and sweetly humbled, chastised, repentant, loved by the Lord...
I have a MAJOR weaknesses (or two) which has surfaced again recently. It is time to conquer... I am repenting of allowing myself indulge in these weaknesses. It really comes down to choices; I am what I choose to be. And I'm choosing NOW to leave these weaknesses behind, and turn them to strengths. I'm choosing to overcome the natural man, and rise up to be the person I should be. To give up idle thoughts, and obey the lord at all costs. It means giving up a weakness I somehow enjoy (??), to obey the Lord, and be more than I am - which I trust will bring greater True Joy (I totally and completely TRUST the lord!).
I have other goals as well. Goals to decrease the distractions in life that keep me a little too busy, not allowing enough time to focus my thoughts and energies on the tasks which will bring the greatest fulfillment in my life. As I look at the things which bring me peace and joy in my life - I remember the huge amount of work that preceded each fulfillment. I know of no fulfillment in my life which I did not first work with great effort and diligence to obtain... The more time I spend working, the more blessed my life is.
And so I am choosing to again simplify my life to get the clutter OUT - out of my time, space, and mind... I believe this is sometimes referred to as "less is more." I AM PURGING...
I am excited, and at peace. :)
...praying for God's blessing upon me in these endeavors
PS. I wrote this yesterday, and had a fabulous day! I worked, I prayed, I played with my family. :) It was a very productive day and I am immediately blessed! :D I have some work to do. A transition is sure to take place... I'm excited about the adventure to add to my wonderful journey!!!
PPS. General Conference was AWESOME!!! If you haven't seen it, click here for a schedule and links to each of the fabulous talks. I may come back and tell a little about a couple of my favorite talks on my blog, if time permits. Enjoy! Corine :D
Oh MY gosh... I have to add another PS!!!
I just read a beautiful blog post (about the reasons life is hard) in which the following quote was shared:
The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says “Give me All. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.”
C.S. LewisThis is what I need to do. I am choosing to give ALL of myself to the Lord. And I am so excited to be on track with this!!!! :D I don't think it will be easy, but I KNOW it will be worth it! :)
UPDATE-(Dec.-22-2012): I just saw a talk today which gave reference to this subject. The Conference Talk was just given this past October, so was written long past the time I wrote this post, but I feel it a great addition for any who stumble upon this post so I'm leaving a link to it here: What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?
Looking back now, I'm so happy that I was thus inspired - and DID submit myself to my Father in Heaven's will (no matter how challenging)! Heavenly Father IS wonderful! :D