Monday, February 20, 2012

We are NEVER Alone...

The past three days have something in common with Thanksgiving; both include a three day feast. The first is physical. The second is spiritual, cognitive, and emotional… While the first one sometimes leaves me feeling heavy; the second leaves me feeling much happier and lighter.

Saturday night in Stake Conference our local RS President began her talk by referencing a quote given at the end of Elder Uchtdorf’s famous talk Forget Me Not, (a talk which I have blogged about).
“No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.”
Immediately upon hearing these words a powerful feeling came over me as the Holy Spirit confirmed to me the truthfulness of these words; the feeling was so strong I could not help crying...

As I sat in conference in the 30-60 seconds following this remark, my mind then switched back and forth between remembering the pioneer scene and a recent scene of my own life. So much went through my mind in such a short period of time.

In my minds eye I saw a scene from the movie The Seventeen Miracles in which an elderly woman, being so exhausted and overwhelmed from their journey – sat down and wept as the rest of the group continued on. The woman’s daughter begged, cried, and plead with her mother to get up and stay with the group, knowing that if she refused to continue on with the group she would be alone and unprotected, and would likely be devoured by wolves. Several of the party also implored her, knowing that they must continue on… but the discouraged woman sat crying and would not budge. As the daughter eventually found herself alone with her mother she finally fell to her knees and in tears and great faith, plead with the lord to help her mother to get up and catch up with the group. Upon opening her eyes the faithful daughter found upon the ground a big round pie. She looked around and saw no one. Through tears of joy she picked up the pie and took it to her mother exclaiming, “Mother! Look at what the lord has left for you!” Her mother saw the pie, and knowing it was from the lord was renewed in strength and energy to continue on in her journey.

I then just as immediately saw in my own minds eye the scene of seemingly never ending financial struggle in addition to other struggles I don't care to mention at this time.

In just a few months time, we experienced several very unfortunate events...

Our suburban broke down, and an acquaintance offered to fix it up and sell it "to help us out financially." This man ended up giving us only $200 from the deal - he got the rest (though we could have parted the vehicle out for much more). A few weeks later someone hit our car and totaled it. The insurance company offered only $800 for it (which we are still waiting for). We are very fortunate to have Miles’ father’s truck; however it only gets $10 miles to the gallon on the freeway and even less around town (we seldom drive, and I am so thankful to have this for when we must but losing the car that gets such great gas mileage is a loss). As if these losses weren't enough, we then let a troubled youth in our home - giving him a second chance at having honest good friends… though he has not admitted to it, $2,200 belonging to a man we sold a boat for went missing the same day he suddenly had an angry and irrational outburst, followed by quietly slipping out of our home without telling anyone…

All of this happened in only the past few months – all during our down season with very little income. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, and needed to not allow myself to get discouraged.

I continued to remember so much in just a moment’s time while sitting in conference…I remembered how I prayed for help. Usually, I am happy and strong despite trials, but life is a roller coaster, and at this moment I felt weak and wanted a friend to lean on. I told the lord I needed someone to talk to. I called a friend intending to ask her how she handles life without getting overwhelmed, but she didn’t answer the phone so I left a message for her to call me. I didn’t know who to call about my problems or why I even wanted to tell someone at that moment, but I did; who wouldn’t mind listening? Who would understand? Who had time? Who wouldn't rather not know? I didn’t know where else to turn. I prayed to know…Each time I prayed the song “Where Can I Turn for Peace” came to mind. I knew the lord was telling me to turn to Him. And so I prayed harder. (Though I know I have friends who WOULD have been there for me had I talked to them, but I needed to turn to the Lord - first and foremost.)

I remembered feeling so alone. My husband had a business appointment but talked to me as long as he could, trying to comfort me before he left. The lord made it known to me at that moment how much my husband loves me; I was surprised. I had next to me my best friend, even more deeply and truly than I had ever supposed or realized…

I then remembered looking at my phone and realizing that my very dear friend, Jolynne called me back and I had missed the call. I called her back and was blessed with the emotional feast I had been needing... During the course of that phone call Jo paused and said to me, “Corine, I want you to know that I am here for you100%” She told me that she loved me, and understood what I was going through. I could feel the depth and honesty of her words, and through the power of the Holy Ghost the lord testified to me that I am not alone. The emptiness and despair within me were replaced with hope, peace, happiness, and a feeling of being so loved and watched over that I knew everything would be OK.

As I reflected, I realized, the lord had given me a miracle in the same way he gave a miracle to this pioneer. The Lord did not take all her struggles away. But he met her most basic needs – and assured her that he loved her and was aware of her. This was all she needed to have the strength and courage to get up and move forward. And it was all I truly needed as well...

I believe the Holy Ghost prompted my friend to tell me the things she did; He knew I needed to hear it. The lord wanted me to know that my husband loves me, my friends love me, and that He loves me; and that He was sending me my husband, the Holy Ghost, and a friend – just as he sent that pioneer woman a pieto let me know that I was remembered, cherished, watched over, and loved, and to give me hope and strength to get back up and keep living. My dear friend told me other things that I also needed to hear. She told me that we have something in common with the pioneers... we are all on a journey and will make sacrifices we didn't know we would have to make, but that there is a reason and purpose; and it IS all worth it.

The result - I was again happy and filled with hope that together we can make it through very challenging times. I was reminded that all the struggles we go through are blessings of experience which strengthen and teach us. And I knew that everything would be OK...

I don’t know if any of us are ever truly aware of the impact we can have in a person’s life by doing the simple little things that Heavenly Father inspires them to do. I don't know how often we are the answer to another person's prayers, just by doing some small act that we feel inspired to do... But I know He hears and loves us, and He always will. I know without a doubt – that thanks to Him - WE ARE NEVER ALONE…

PS. You will probably want to watch or read the talk I mentioned at the beginning of this post a few times (it is really THAT LOVED). To view the famous talk in print click here...

Or, you can just watch the video bellow. Enjoy! :D

5 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you shared this today... I have been so swamped the last few weeks, no make that months...

    I'm so grateful for you and your positive example amidst your trials. You remind me that I can do hard things! Thanks for being you!

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  2. ((((((hugs)))))) you amazing woman, you!

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  3. Ginger, I'm really glad you are glad - because, I sort of felt the way you described feeling earlier... wondering if I say too much. I really hope it was all OK.

    As far as gratitude goes, you're so welcome, and thank YOU for being you!!! I seriously appreciate you so much! :)

    Hugs,
    Corine :D

    Becca,

    Thank you SO MUCH! :D
    HUGS BACK!!!
    Corine :D

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  4. Thanks for sharing this....We have been there...oh we have been there {currently trying to get out of it}. And I have felt the same things. We will be ok. We will get through this, and we always do, but until I turn to Him I never feel that peace. I feel stressed, want to vent to a friend and want to cry.

    Also grateful for understanding husbands who work so hard and try so hard to make us women happy :) To be a man and have the stress of taking care financially for a family...what a hard thing.

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  5. Kendra - Me too... I find that after I turn to him and after I feel at peace - that is when things finally start getting better. I am sorry that you understand (for your sake). I'll pray for you, too.

    And thank you for mentioning the husbands. My poor husband... finances are such a huge stress factor in my life. The responsibility to meet every financial need of a family is a BIG one, and I REALLY appreciate all that my husband does for our family!

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There is a ripple effect in all that we do; what you do touches me, what I do touches you...

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