Friday, January 28, 2011

Embracing Unwanted and/or Unexpected Changes in Life...

A few days ago I wrote a blog about the "Normalcy Bias" effect. After writing it, the comments I read got me to thinking further about the losses we sometimes experience from disasters in our lives (like losing houses and possessions in the fire disaster - which I created a link to in that post, or nearly losing a person to drowning - also linked to in the other post). There were some comments on this post which I really appreciated (as I always do); so,

Thanks so much for your comments! :D 
They really got me thinking...  :)

The comments made inspired some more meditating on my part. I am reminded once again of one of my favorite movies Meet the Robinsons.

In this movie a boy who is an orphan regrets being left on the door step of the orphanage as a baby. He chases after his past (birth mother) and longs for life to be something that it isn't. But after he learns to let go of the ideas of what he naturally thinks his life should be like, he discovers that the tiny "twists and turns of fate" have given him a better life than he ever could have imagined.

The reason this story comes to mind is that I think when disaster strikes, it is natural to lament over the persons or property destroyed or lost, and consider the whole experience as a tragedy. But the truth that is so often overlooked is that losing something often leads to gaining even more; life is filled with "little wonders." There are multiple examples of this in the scriptures (Job, Joseph of Egypt, Moses torn from his family and people etc.).

I liked the way the author subtly wove into the story the message that the boy first let go of wanting what he couldn't have, to be able to realize what he could have. And once given the opportunity to get what he wanted... he chose to accept not getting what he wanted... to stop pursuing it... to have faith that life could be great without it (he had the opportunity to meet his mom and perhaps change her mind; he chose to let her give him up and not even influence her choice at all); this choice is what made his wildest dreams possible. Perhaps this is what is meant by,

"Faith precedes the miracle."

Accepting changes and looking to a new and different future (especially if a disaster caused it) can be hard to do when we idolize what ever it is we lost and can't see into the future to imagine life without it. This used to be really hard for me; it was one of my greatest trials. But Heavenly Father has allowed life experiences to teach me to live by faith. As my faith has grown, my views and feelings have also changed dramatically. It makes me happy. :D

*I hope that after the normalcy bias blog post, I can now relay my feelings that sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we may not want to be in... situations that may even seem like disasters. Sometimes the experience is a natural disaster (like a forest fire), and sometimes it is something that happens in life that may not look like a disaster to others, but feels like one to you while you are going through it (divorce, death of a loved one, becoming an orphan etc). When we find ourselves in these situations, we should realize that nothing in life, and everything in life... is "normal." Every one has challenges and struggles, and anything can happen to anyone... including yourself. Admitting this motivates us to prepare for disasters BEFORE they happen; it also helps us to be able to do whatever needs to be done when a disaster does strike... rather than freezing helplessly over the shock of it all.

After we have done all that we can do, we shouldn't focus on what has changed or view those changes as losses... we should look forward to the future with faith and hope that no matter how great we had it... life can be even better than it was before. We can even learn to do this with small losses in life, like favorite or treasured stories or drawings that we create and then lose. We can learn to let go, move on ~ happily, and look forward to creating all over again. I have LOVED learning to do this in life!

*I believe that God stood back and allowed Joseph of Egypt be thrown into pit, sold as a slave, and then cast into prison... to bring about a greater purpose, so that Joseph could become a ruler and save all of Egypt and the neighboring people. 

*I also believe God stands back and lets us go through difficulties, to bring about a greater cause. And that if we faithfully follow his lead, we will get to be a part of his great cause, which is far greater and more fulfilling than any cause we could ever hope to create on our own.

With faith in God and obedience to his counsels, I hope to always be thankful for my "today's," (even the tough ones) and continue to look forward to the future with happiness and hope in my heart... :D

PS. To my readers who comment, and make me think...

Thank you! :D

I really appreciate YOU! ;D You and your comments are of great value to me.

And to all of you who read this blog, even if you don't comment... I hope that I will be blessed to write things that will be of value to you! ;)

Corine :D

PS Since I love music... here are a couple of you tube links to a couple songs I like from the movie I mentioned. :)

Another Believer ~ "Ain't it crazy... you got more than you paid for!"

Little Wonders ~ "All of my regrets will wash away somehow. I can not forget, the way I feel right now."

When You Find Yourself - This one talks about finding yourself in a different place than you thought you would... :) ~ Another concept brought home is that living for someone else (not selfishly) causes one to find himself. (Just a sleepy incidental note... :) The music is WAY too twangy for me, but the song has excellent lyrics.

I really didn't put a ton of thought into which songs to share, and I am tired, so I'm going to sleep... and so you get what you get! ;)

Until another day...
Corine :D


  1. Corine,
    Wow, that was powerful and it spoke to me today. Death of loved ones seems to surround me this 'year' ...yeah one month into it. First Meg, and I got a call from a friend in Ohio that told me of the death of a friend we taught with. It was quite sudden and unexpected and we are all shocked; just shocked and can't beleive she is gone. I received many calls and e-mails from this group of people I taught 11 years with prior to moving to NC. But as the calls were rolling in and the e-mails logging on I realized that while we all may have had our differences and disputes as people do, we really all cared about one another and were a family and I need to do my part in being a better family member being apart from them. Life is too short to allow time and distance to separate us.
    anyway, that's what your post brought to mind...very very lovely; thank you Corine!

  2. Hi Tracy, :) I'm so happy that this post spoke to you. Another post that may also speak to you at this time in your life is the following...

    PS I feel the same way about family and friends. I LOVE THEM! Life is way too short to allow differences, busy life, time, or anything else to distance relationships! Take care...

    Corine ;D

  3. Corine, love this one today. You made me think. I also like that movie and for all the same reasons you sited. Now that I am older and look back on my life, I realize that many of the awful, horrible, things that I went through, are what has made me into who I am today. I have learned that God ALWAYS gives us blessing after we go through hard things. It is just that sometimes we focus so much on the woulda, coulda, shoulda's that we totally miss what we have been give. Thanks for the post today. you are amazing.

  4. Patty Ann - I LOVE YOUR COMMENT! Thank you so much for pointing out the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's!" This is another aspect that was on my mind, but not relayed in the post... so thanks for adding it here! You are SO RIGHT. Regrets are futile. We can not go back in time... so we may as well go forward. ;D I remember once being very much comforted by the lord and assured that sometimes we make right choices that SEEM wrong. We may as well not worry about the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" because we can't change the past. And besides... so often what happened, happened for a GOOD REASON and the future will unfold the blessings to come from it if we will just trust God and open our eyes.

    Yikes! :O I think I just stepped up on a soap box! LOL! :D I'll stop rambling... but thanks again. YOU ARE AMAZING... TOO! ;D

    PS I feel good. Life is so good! :D

  5. Thanks for the post. I needed to read it today.

  6. Wow, powerful words. Reminds me of a couple of mom's mantra is "I can do hard things" I think about that a lot when I'm trying to muddle through the rough and tough days. Also, "keep calm and carry on".

    Thanks for following my blog! I love "meeting" new friends. Apparently great minds think alike since I just posted "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield in my last post with the exact same quote from the song that you have on your sidebar.


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