I knew I needed work, but... wow! :o The level of exhaustion I experienced, (coupled with knowing the distance I covered compared to what I will have to swim for a tri.) told me that it's going to take even more work to prepare for this triathlon than I imagined. I was exhausted! It terrified me, to be honest!
All kinds of self defeating thoughts came into to my mind...
"I hope preparing for the swim isn't going to be even more challenging than I now anticipate. :o" After all, (I reminded myself) when my friend Valerie told me she was training for a half marathon, and asked if I wanted to train with her, I remember thinking, '13 miles. Heck yeah! I can do that!' This was before I started running... when I was quite sure that it would be no big deal. But once I started training I found out how challenging it really was. Then I began to wonder, if I could go the distance without serious injury to one of my knees. What if training for the swim portion of a tri is much harder than I think it will be? At least with running, I never had to worry about things like DYING/DROWNING!"This afternoon, as I thought of how much work I will have to do to get ready for the swim, apprehension began to cause me to not want to go swimming again today as I had planned. it All I could think of was,
"Swimming is SHOCKINGLY HARDER than running."And it bothered me that my thinking began to cause me to struggle to believe that I can do this;
"THIS ISN'T WHAT I 'DO'!!! I 'do' faith,"...I quickly reminded myself.
And I knew the lack of faith I was experiencing was simply a result of focusing on obstacles and of how hard it would be to accomplish this goal, rather than focusing on my goal.
So I looked for a few positive thoughts to combat the negative ones with. I remembered that though running is a challenge for me... Each week when I run, I continue to discover that I can go farther than I did the week before. Two days ago I ran 9 miles; I only have 4 more miles to go, and I will have run the distance of the half marathon!
I realized that I needed to choose to have faith again. Though since I was fighting the negative, having faith was a stretch at the moment; so I chose to at least let myself have hope... hope that I can do this, enough to at least show up at that pool, and give myself a chance, just as I "showed up" at my friend's house for a long run every week (click here to read my blog post "Showing-Up."
I also realized that I need to focus on my goal, and on what I need to do to accomplish my goal; I need to set myself up for success! For me, I figured this might mean it's time to call my friends; it will be easier to show up at the pool if I know they are there, expecting me to be there, too. :)
I started with my daughter (I will be calling a couple of friends as well). I figured she would go with me on a moment's notice. So I invited her to come with me to go swimming, right then, at that very moment. I figured the sooner I went to that pool to prove to myself that I can get better at swimming... the better off my thoughts would be.
So I went. Immediately. And my wonderful "dolphin" daughter came with me. :D She taught me a few things which really saved me energy. I was shocked... not about how impossible it is to swim well... but to find out that a little instruction and some small changes in habits that I have, are really going to make this a whole lot More Possible than I realized. That's right. :) I still have a LOT of work/training to do; but my daughter says I am going to be a "great" swimmer. :D
I hope she is right.
I think I'll "show up" at the pool a couple of times each week. I think I'll show up for some swimming lessons, too ;), and see if my daughter is right! :)
PS. I realized to day that accomplishing this goal will mean I won't be left behind my kids and husband when we go swimming long distances! :D ~ This future accomplishment will make our family time in the water SO MUCH FUNNER! I'm really quite excited!!! Maybe, I too, will be able to swim across Elsie Lake next time family members venture out to do it! ;) (No worries... there is always someone on a kayak, there and ready to take up tired swimmers if needed.) Yeah! :D I'm so excited to accomplish this goal!